Murphy's Law of Snap Decisions
by Lone-ranger1
Summary: Sam's in a bind, and in order to escape the horrors of a village's tradition regarding trade, she'll have to pretend to be married to John. The only problem? Murphy doesn't appreciate Snap Decisions like that. Mature Sci-fi Sitcom Humor
1. Tough Choice

**Murphy's Law of Snap Decisions**

* * *

**A/N:** Before you read, this is a Sam/John fic, but not in the typical way. It's very suggestive (a very strong T) and while horribly funny (in every sense of that word) it's not exactly fluffy. So if suggestive jokes, double entendres and awkward situations isn't your thing, feel free to skip.

Otherwise, enjoy, and new chapter every few days... i think. (about 7-8 chaps total.)

* * *

Sam was in deep trouble, she'd had her share of strange village traditions while a part of SG-1, but this clearly and completely took the cake _and _ate it too. She'd only agreed to come to this meeting because the potential of finding unmined and easily obtainable Naquadah and Trinium as well as potential Ancient technology meant that it deserved a visit from Atlantis's Commanding Officer. AR-2 had done a great job prepping the natives for their arrival.

Now though, sitting inside the tent of Phreyas of the Binthu tribe, Sam fought her grimace upon seeing the woman who came out from underneath the table wiping her mouth. The fifty-something year old Chief named Phreyas motioned to Sam. "My apologies. I've been a terrible host, would you like someone to release your stress?"

Sam fought, and she fought _hard_ not to burst out laughing or screaming, she didn't know which. She'd learned to try and keep her own culture to herself in situations like this, and despite being disgusted, kept silent about it. Her flushed and hot cheeks told her that it wasn't an easy battle though. "Umm, no that's okay." She hadn't even realized what was happening until a moment ago when Phreyas moaned suddenly and seemed incredibly relaxed. The knowledge of what transpired not five feet away from her was more than a little… _sickening_.

Phreyas gave her a look that told to his confusion. "Do you not enjoy sexual release?"

Sam felt the laughs building up inside her, but she knew if she cracked, they'd most likely chase her out of the village with spears and arrows. Despite Sheppard's team being right outside, it wasn't something she was willing to risk. "It's not that Phreyas… it's just that… to our people… Sexual relationships are something that are kept private and personal."

Phreyas shook his head, still befuddled. "For a personal relationship I can understand, but your ways are strange. In our culture sexual release is freely given, only love is held selfish. I am curious, Are you betrothed to someone that you cannot partake of our traditions?"

Phreyas had just finished telling her, before his cultural faux pas, that in order to finalize their trade agreement, the leaders of the two parties would either give each other a gift of something personal if they were the same gender. If they were opposite though, they would have sex in order to increase the genetic diversity of the different parties to help the issue of incest among the smaller tribes they traded with. Sam had no intention of following through with _that_ kind of agreement no matter _how_ much Naquadah they'd find, but didn't want to lose the potential technology they had just secured. However, Phreyas had just given her an out, and she had to make a tough choice. "Ummm Yes! Yes I uhh, I am… _married_." A lie. She didn't even have a _boyfriend_ even though there were prospects. It just wasn't something she was worried about anymore.

Phreyas gave her an unbelieving look. "Really? To whom may I ask?"

Sam smiled nervously, and realized that without some kind of proof, Phreyas would want to fulfill his traditions. She must have some kind of tell, probably the nervous fidgeting and tightening of her BDU's belts and clasps. Sam took a breath, steeled herself and got up. "Yes! He's right outside. I uhh… yes, yes you can meet him." It was ridiculous, but she needed to stall for time. Her only hope was that whatever happened, they could at least get away if needed.

Phreyas nodded and waved to his assistant to open the flaps to the sealed tent.

Sam stepped out into the light and saw Sheppard's team sitting around the campfire chatting with the other villagers. The village was relatively large, and each couple seemed to have their own tent. There were several unused teepee style tents that held little other then a bed. She'd been curious why they were there, and now the gears were grinding. _No no! don't even think about.. Gah! The wheels!_ The wheels were turning in her head!'

Colonel Sheppard's team stood and formed up in a line conveniently for Sam, one by one she scrutinized them. Who could she fake being married to?

Teyla was out of the question, that was a bag of worms hidden inside a rubix's cube, and besides, Sam herself wasn't exactly that intrigued with the idea. The fact that Teyla was pregnant and only here because she could ease tension with the Binthu was just another strike against her.

Rodney might be a good choice, he certainly had chemistry with her, and Sam on frequent occasions thought he was cute or a sweetheart when he actually got up and did something manly. Then again, he had made his thoughts clear from the very beginning. Maybe… no wait, It _did_ happen in another reality! So _that_ was a good point for Rodney… although that had ended badly. Besides, she was just faking it, it's not like they were actually going to _do_ anything beyond a kiss or something. She could tolerate kissing Rodney especially if it meant he'd get adorably befuddled after.

That's when it hit her, _Oh crap! What if he wants specific proof we're married!?_ Sam was willing to give Rodney the benefit of the doubt, but there was no way in hell she was going to even _fake_ proving anything with Meredith Rodney McKay.

Next in the line was Ronon. Big, Tall, Quiet. Much like Teal'c in a way, and she'd always felt safe and at ease with Teal'c. Ronon was different though, instead of the pain of false gods, Ronon felt the pain of being prey, of giving it everything he had and only surviving by luck. Sheppard's comment of 'Luck equals Skill meets Opportunity' fit well for the large Satedan.

He didn't like her that much though, at least not right away. Sam had proven herself to Ronon but she still didn't think he saw her as more than a pencil pusher. That lack of chemistry might tip them off, especially if Ronon couldn't act that well.

Besides that, she really didn't feel anything beyond perhaps a physical attraction to him, Sam wasn't sure she could pull off a convincing marriage with the tall Satedan, although they would more likely believe her as she being a soldier herself, would probably like another warrior. So… a little better than Rodney on a superficial sense, but still not ideal.

That left Sheppard, with his cocky grin, the dark Oakley aviators he wore, and that tussled mess of hair. Sam had always felt a little more connection with him, a simple camaraderie that was more than just teamwork. Sort of like Cam in some ways.

They'd become fast friends, and as far as she could sense, that was it. Looking at him now though, she realized that Sheppard was in fact an ideal fit. The rebel within, the hidden intelligence, the dark past, he had it in spades. It would be believable, and that was the important part.

His constant flirtatious personality wasn't harmful, it was just his way of being nice to everyone, herself included. She recalled her first week in Atlantis where she'd gone to assist Ronon and accepting John's invitation to join the crew in celebrating their return. She'd found John easygoing, and relaxed around these people. Sam easily understood it was his family.

John was caring too, she could see it in the way he led his team, and took the time to make sure each was all right and ready for duty. He showed that same care for her on occasion, always dancing on the blade of within and outside regulations. His risky dance on that razor was about to pay off, _God, _she thought, _please have Don Juan possess John Sheppard …'_

* * *

Rodney watched in both awe, and rapt horror as Sam walked up to Sheppard with no hesitation whatsoever, wrapped her arms around him, and planted a deep penetrating kiss on his lips. John seemed momentarily stunned, but recovered so fast that anyone who didn't know him would swear it was an everyday thing.

Both Ronon and Teyla seemed a bit taken aback as well, but Sam obviously had a good reason for doing what she did, and even now, as she swung around with one arm hanging off John's waist, his own on hers on the small of her back, John still seemed slightly unsettled to his close friends. Phreyas walked up and scrutinized John. "You are the husband of Colonel Samantha Carter?"

John's face skewed a little, and nodded after a second of thinking. "Yes… Yes I am."

Phreyas raised an eyebrow, and lowered his voice. "_Really_? Tell me then, what do you love in her that makes you choose her above all others?"

John slowly turned and faced Sam who gave him a wide nervous grin. Her eyes _begged_ him to play along, and John gave her a long stare that said every last razor witted thing he wanted to lash her with, then turned his head to Phreyas. "Just one thing? 'Cause the whole package is pretty intense."

Rodney saw Sam twitch just barely, and again, no one who didn't know her would know it. She smiled in what seemed sincere, and looked to the others. "He spoils me, right?"

Ronon and Teyla looked at each other, made nearly imperceptible shrugs, and nodded. "Uhhh yeah. He's such a softie when it comes to you." Ronon looked to John with a _'what the hell is going on?' _look.

Teyla nodded. "I do admit some jealousy." She gave John the same look as Ronon, except a little more subtly.

They all looked expectantly to Rodney now, and Sam's voice in her eyes _begged_ him to say something, _anything_ that would help the illusion. Rodney took a few moments to think, and then finally spoke with a soft yet almost defeated voice. "You know I'm… _happy_ for you Sam." He somehow managed to keep from giving Sheppard his worst evil eye ever, and simply stood there.

Phreyas seemed reticent, and nodded to them. "Yes… I do see a certain… _bond_ between you two. Have you any children?"

They both shook their heads, and Sam pulled John a little closer. "No…but we're trying."

John squeezed her side, both playing the husband, and also punishing her for putting him in this situation. She snickered softly just to cover her mortification and John looked to Phreyas. "Kinda hard to get that kinda time when we're always out meeting new people."

Phreyas laughed, and seemed reassured. "I would say then that we change our agreement to a personal exchange… here." He took off one of his necklaces, adorned with what looked like bluish pebbles. "This is an heirloom of my family, the story behind it is strong and proud, of battle and honor against Wraith… much like the bond I see before me."

John accepted the necklace, and looked at it for a second. Sam whispered into his ear and he raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Huh? Oh… What?! Oh…" He turned to Sam for a moment, now understanding how ridiculous the situation was. He finally stopped staring, put the necklace on and looked to Phreyas. "Exchange huh?

John raised his right arm and after a moment, took off his leather wristband exposing a tattoo underneath. "Here we go. This is an… heirloom of mine, it uhh… symbolizes the life I had…" he looked to his team, and finally to Sam. "…Before I became part of the family I have today. You wear it like this…" He took Phreyas's arm, and put the band on in a similar way.

Phreyas seemed pleased with the addition to his wardrobe. He flexed his muscled arm and rotated his wrist. "I like this… it gives my arm an extra support. Thank you Colonel Sheppard. With that, our trade agreement is complete! Let us celebrate our new found friends and the love they share!"

The villagers around them began to hoot and chant, all stomping their spears and dancing around. Phreyas smiled back to them and calmly extended his hands "I would ask you stay the night, the Ancestral Ring is far and there are many beasts in the forest."

The group looked to each other, and realizing that he wasn't going to take no for an answer, Sam and John nodded, realizing this had just gotten even _more_ complicated "Umm sure, we're be glad to stay for the night."

Just another day in Pegasus.


	2. Unreal Acting

Sitting inside the tent that the Binthu had provided for them to share, John and Sam were finally having that small private chat based on the last few hours events."Sam… you have any idea how bad McKay is gonna rip me as soon as we're back on Atlantis?"

Sam sighed, and snickered to herself as she brushed her hair while sitting on the bed. "I think he'll be more pissed off that you and me have to share a bed."

John grumbled as he sat on the floor across from Sam. "Uhh… y'know, I'm fine on the floor uhh…"

Sam smirked and snorted, put the brush down on the bed, shook her head. "No can do Sheppard… happened to us on SG-1… then-Colonel O'Neill decided he'd sleep on the floor, and the next day they knew we weren't… well you know."

John chuckled and stretched his shoulders as he closed the blinds like device on the window. "So you got hitched on some off-world planet?"

Sam sighed wistfully. "Eight times… Although twice we didn't even realize it until we came back and they started…" Sam made a suggestive motion with her hand and shook her head from side to side. She chuckled to herself as she dropped her head into her hand and rubbed her forehead. "Guess that's what happens when you joke around too much."

John sat down next to her and sighed.. "Surprisingly, I know exactly what you mean. Teyla's been amazing at keeping the locals from tying our knots so to speak, but McKay was really pissing me off one day, just complaining and I couldn't help it anymore. I let him have it." John shifted around on the floor, so he could face Sam on the same level as she sat on the furs of the makeshift floor bed. Sam was busy tying her hair into a tight ponytail as she listened.

Sam smirked and mused. "I know the feeling."

John chuckled and shook his head. "I dunno how they got the signal mixed, but MX8-386 thought me and Rodney… well you know. They wouldn't believe that we weren't until I walked up and punched him in the head." Sam tried to stifle her laugh, but ended up bowing her head into her knees as she muffled her voice.

John laughed as well and rubbed his shoulders as she shook. "Yeah yeah… that's pretty much why we kept it out of the report. That and he landed in a chicken coop but don't tell him I told you." Sam squeezed her body, trying to suppress her laughter. "I felt pretty bad, I pulled the punch but he was still angry. Had to be his guinea pig for a few weeks 'fore he forgot about it."

Sam spent a few more seconds laughing, until she finally calmed down and relaxed. Her eyes were tearing up from the shock and she wiped them with the back of her hand. "I can totally see that happening. That happened to General O'Neill and Daniel once. They made me promise never to tell Hammond about it but… _oh god_, Teal'c face was priceless when it happened."

John chuckled some more and an awkward silence owned the room. It was time for sleep and John didn't know what to do. Not that he didn't feel comfortable sleeping with a woman, but rather he had _never _considered how he'd play it if she was his superior officer as well.

Sam could see it and lost her own humor as well. "Uh… I'll take the right side."

John nodded quickly and shifted over to the left side of the bed. "Yeah! Yeah that's…" He kept a healthy distance from Sam, but still close enough to hear each other's breathing.

She calmed down, still amused with the image of Rodney falling into a chicken coop, there was still a little space between them but the heat was still noticeable. Sam was glad that both were okay with sleeping in their clothes, but at the same time, it was still uncomfortable.

John scratched his head for a moment and Sam remembered something she wanted to ask. Seeing as neither could get to sleep, she figured now was a good time. "John… why do you have a Bessel Function tattooed on your wrist?"

* * *

It was past midnight, and after a short conversation about John's tattoo and a rather amusing anecdote about a math teacher, Sam had finally been able to try and sleep. She kept her senses alert though and was soon rewarded when she noticed something by the window. "John… I need you hug me."

John, who was already half-asleep, muttered in his fugue state. "Bah… I'll do it in the morning…leeme alone…"

Sam took the initiative and rolled over on top of him. She recalled doing this to Jack once and the surprised look on John's face was just as amusing. "I'm serious John… they're watching us."

John fluttered his eyes open, and looking past her torso which was now directly in front of his face. A pair of eyes were visible peeking under the curtains from the binary moon's reflections. "Oh great… friggin great…"

He didn't get another word out, as Sam's body pressed against his and he quickly forgot about everything else going on. He awkwardly wrapped his arms around Sam as she did the same, and tried not to look at her in the face.

Sam winced as she could tell that their movements felt and likely looked very unnatural and forced. This wasn't going as planned and she didn't feel like getting chased out of a village this late at night. "John, just… just pretend okay? I…"

Sam swore softly under her breath, and John tried to avoid thinking about how her body felt right on top of his. "Guess this never happened on SG-1?"

"Not like this… just… pretend it's a play or something."

John groaned softly in frustration, After a few moments of awkward hugging, John went for broke and flipped her around. Using his weight, he pinned Sam to the bed. Sam flinched as she actively choked her throat to keep from yelping. She kept her voice quiet, but still surprised. "John, what the _hell _are you _doing?!"_

John reached down and began to undo his belt buckle which only caused Sam even more worry, but hearing his soft frustrated voice beside her almost broke all concentration she had. "If they want a show… I hope he likes watchin' my bare ass bouncing up and down." He screwed his face as he looked at Sam. "Classified?"

Sam began to giggle, and put her head on his shoulder in order to avoid seeing anything she might… _regret_ seeing in this position, as well as to muffle her laughter. Ironically enough, this served to make their movements seem even more natural. "Classified!"

John grunted once, and then shifted his hips around in midair, Sam could see he was having a tremendous time trying to pull down the back of his pants without exposing the front. Sam couldn't help but feel honored at John's logic, however stupid it might seem. He was trying his best not to make any… _offensive_ movements… even though he was faking making love to her.

His eyes met hers, and as he began to make grunting noises, she finally cracked and stuffed her face into his neck to try and disguise her laugh as something else. She started making fake moan noises and even cried out _'Oh John!' _once or twice. John couldn't help laughing either and did his best to keep his composure.

Sam was starting to feel a little hot, maybe they were just acting, but she was still _alive_ dammit, and John was in _great_ shape. When she felt a little stiff thingy poking on the side of her belly, she stifled a snicker. "Umm _John…?"_

John shifted a bit, and began to waggle his hips. _"I know I know!_ _Damnit_ this isn't easy!"

Sam laughed a bit more, and feeling bad for the man on top of her who was trying so hard not to show his attraction to her, yet faking the most intimate relation with her, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pulled him in for a tighter hug.

John stopped moving around, and after a second's hesitation he returned the hug. It wasn't like before, this hug was real. John instantly could tell the difference and leaned in slightly, their necks meeting as they both started to enjoy it.

Sam opened her eyes looked over his shoulder again, The pair of peeping eyes were gone, and John was breathing heavily. She realized she was panting too.

Pulling himself up into a push up position, John didn't say anything, but didn't initiate anything else. He just looked to Sam who now stopped everything and stared back. Finally, seeing how she didn't seem worried, John kept his voice low. "Uhh… can I pull my pants up? There's a bit of a draft."

Sam snorted as she covered her mouth with one hand to hide her smile, and nodded finally appreciative of how hard it must be for John to be so close, and yet so far.

* * *

Breakfast was unbelievably awkward. Thankfully, the village had decided to let John and Sam eat in their tent rather than face their team.

Neither could say anything as they played around with their food. Sam had tried to open up, but immediately shut down because it was just too awkward to say anything.

Neither could even look at each other properly, any look at immediately the memory of being so close came back, and embarrassment took over.

Once they'd finished eating, Sam realized that they had to go out now, and forcing her brain to shut down, she let her mouth do the talking. "Look John, nothing happened, it was just a… _mission_. I…" she looked up and saw John's eyes, they were so hopeful, so pleading to just let this whole thing go. "Let's just pretend it never happened, because really nothing did happen."

John forced his neck to stay still, and stared back at Sam. "Agreed. The less McKay knows the better."

Now neither could look away, both awash in wild imaginations of what Rodney would think given their awkwardness. John snorted softly first, and then Sam, and slowly they both broke down into fits of giggles.

Nothing had happened, and they were just being silly being this awkward about it.

* * *

"Hmm… this place isn't exactly intact. But there might be a few things worth looking at,"

Sam sighed in relief, technology seemed to be enough to distract Rodney from the fact that she was walking arm in arm with John. Ronon and Teyla were still a little confused over the fake relationship. They hadn't had a moment in private for John or Sam to explain, and the façade was still going on.

Now Phreyas had brought them to the site AR-2 had found a few weeks before, an overgrown Ancient outpost built into the side of a mountain. It had been found by Phreyas's people generations ago and praised as a site of the Ancestors. So much so that they even kept their livestock nearby, a strange assortment of bovine like animals that provided the village with milk and meat as well as biological plow.

None of the Binthu knew how the outpost worked, but they maintained it the best they could. With no gene carriers, Sam could understand why.

Sam was curious as well, but right now she was more interested in running away and getting the hell of this planet. John looked much the same, but Phreyas was insistent on showing them around personally. Ronon and Teyla were smiling to each other, and it was clear they enjoyed seeing John sweat. Sam swore some horrific vengeance later, after coordinating with John.

The vegetation growth had obscured and even grown into the outpost, vines that looked as tough as leather wrapped around pedestals and consoles. Phreyas commented that he adored how the ancestors lived in harmony with the land. Sam said nothing.

When Phreyas split John and Sam from the rest of the group, Sam quickly prayed that Rodney would notice and have a hissy fit. Instead, he'd found an active database in the still active lab and was like a kid in a candy store. _Bastard._

Phreyas led them down the outpost to a small room on the outskirts. Sam looked around and saw that it was something similar to the chair room in Atlantis, except that a pair of consoles were connected with a database in the center of the opposite wall. The pair of control chairs inside were facing each other, odd given the way the chairs were supposed to work as far as she knew. They were connected to the consoles and looked active. "What's with the decorations?"

Phreyas smiled, and then he moved over to the area where the chairs were. "In honor of the ancestors, we use this place as our declaration of love and bonding. A couple sit on these chairs and allow the ancestors to bless their union."

John instantly got on guard, he'd never seen a room with _two_ chairs, let alone one where they were connected, he looked to Sam and realized that Phreyas wanted them to do the same as his own people. "Uhh… what does it do?"

Phreyas furrowed his brow. "Do? What do you mean?"

Sam decided to let John do the asking, and she let go to examine the machine as closely as she could. Nothing was activated, and unless she could get into the consoles to check out the data crystals with her tablet, it was unlikely she'd find out without someone activating the system, likely _front_ the chair.

John was again nervous, but he kept it under control. "What happens when you sit on the chairs? Does it light up? Do you feel anything?"

Phreyas shrugged with an honestly confused face. "I've never seen this altar do such things. We've passed down this tradition for centuries. I believe it would be fitting for the two of you to leave here with my blessings, and those of the ancestors."

John _almost_ felt like saying that there was _nothing_ like this on Atlantis, or if there was, Rodney had never mentioned it. He nervously fidgeted with his hands, the reason it likely had never turned on was because none of the Binthu had the ancient gene, the Wraith had meticulously hunted them down over the eons all around the galaxy, and few were left.

John and Sam eyed each other carefully, if they played along, there was no telling what this machine would do. Sam couldn't make heads or tails of it without a more thorough examination and Phreyas wasn't about to allow that. If they refused, then there went everything anyway.

With their eyes, and a few subtle head motions and expressions of their faces, John and Sam came to the frustrating realization. They'd have to continue to play this ruse, and risk whatever this room was meant to do. Sam turned to Phreyas and nodded. "We're… honored, Phreyas. Although, is it meant to be private?" She was hoping that just _maybe_ they could get away with it.

Phreyas smiled back to her and cocked his head. "It's meant to be a celebratory time, typically all your friends and family would be here to celebrate with you, but I understand if your culture finds these things to be private, I shall be the only witness."

Sam could almost mentally hear John screaming and cursing Phreyas with every epithet he knew. Sam was doing the same and hoped he could hear her. _"…Thank you."_

John and Sam turned away, and mouthed their responses to each other as they moved towards the chairs.

_What is this thing!?_

_I don't know!_

_I have the gene!_

_I know!_

_What'll it do!?_

_I don't know!_

_What DO you know!?_

_Just… play along!_

John actively held his hands open instead of curling a fist and knocking Phreyas out, he screwed his mouth and then turned to Sam with a shocked face. "Ready?"

Sam's eyes screamed no, her entire posture said that all she wanted to do was run the hell away from this planet and never come back. But in a meek voice, she bowed her head and nodded. "Of course."

**A/n:** Sorry 'bout the delay, RL and having to rework an aspect of the story which i hadn't noticed was GLARINGLY wrong interfered :P Still lots of fun to go :D


	3. Illusionary Experience

With obvious reluctance, John waited for Sam to sit down, _he_ was the one with the gene, and _he_ was the one who might activate the machine. He looked up at Phreyas, gave one last curse, and then sat down.

Nothing happened, and both John and Sam relaxed in their seated posture. Just as they both smiled at each other though for dodging the bullet, both suddenly felt a _massive_ jolt in their heads.

Seconds seemingly turned to minutes, and those minutes turned to fictional hours, the chairs lit up and the consoles quickly began to show information scrolling across dust covered screens. Both John and Sam went ramrod straight on the chairs, both drawing in deep desperate gasps of air, their eyes open as information began to flood into their minds.

In 5 seconds, the prearranged selection on the consoles which Sam hadn't had enough time to check flashed across their eyes.

Once it ended, John leaped off the chair with Phreyas in shock and awe that the consoles had lit up. Sam jumped off as well and found herself suddenly panting as if she'd just run a marathon. John was doubled over, taking ragged breaths as he tried to recompose his senses. Each had felt the other… each had had the same memory downloaded to them.

"Ascended Ancestors… _never_ has such a thing happened! You two are _truly _blessed! I doubted you for a time but after this, I shall never again doubt your words!"

John and Sam didn't care, they looked to each other in a similar level of shock, but at the same time horror. Sam couldn't help it and blurted. "Oh_ fuck_."

John groaned involuntarily at her wording and struggled to regain control. Just as quickly as it happened, they turned to Phreyas and spat fire similar pleas not to say anything to anyone about what had happened.

* * *

Once Phreyas had been convinced not to talk about what had happened using arguments of leaving the Ancestors decisions to the Ancestors, Sam had taken a very long minute to figure out what the machine was while John uncomfortably stayed a few feet away, struggling not to look at her.

She reviewed the logs now that the machine was activated, and her suspicion was confirmed. It was an Ancient Memory Sharing device. It was originally meant to be a learning device, but the last Lantean who had survived on this planet had done many modifications to it.

Sam grimaced in horror as she saw the name of the Lantean. 'Avroditus'. Too similar… too obvious… if only she'd had the time to check first.

Further research led to more, Avroditus had found that the Wraith had used a virus on these people to sterilize those who had the ancient gene, Avroditus herself included. Even more, it spread by sexual transmission to those who didn't have the gene.

So she'd used the last few years she had turning this place into a sanctuary for the Binthu, allowing them to use the machine to let those afflicted with the virus still have relationships with their loved ones. There was little precious information on the actual mechanics of the sharing, and Sam nearly snapped as she reached the end of the logs. It had mentioned something about a problem, but didn't elaborate on it. Sam felt alright except for the memory burning a hole through her head and sensibility. She felt like smashing that same head into the console in frustration.

The facility had been used for quite awhile according to the logs, a few generations in order to isolate the virus and prevent any further spread beyond what few cases emerged. Once the virus was gone, the facility had gone dark given that without anyone that had the Ancient gene, the machine no longer worked. Thus the legend and tradition of using the chairs as a bonding ceremony had begun, but it had always remained offline.

Until Sam and John had just accidentally turned it on, and it ran the last programmed subroutine, a honeymoon night on a virtual spire of Atlantis.

AR-1 along with Sam began the long trek back to the Stargate and Atlantis. The walk back to the gate had been awkward, and the arrangement of the group as they strolled wasn't much of a surprise.

On each end, Sam and John stood with a good amount of space between them. Ronon and Teyla stood between them, encapsulating Rodney who hadn't said a word to either since the strange sight of John and Sam kissing the day before.

When they finally made it back to Atlantis, John and Sam did a quick debrief and separated, neither really wanting to talk about what happened. It had been so vivid and intense that it was taking time to process completely.

John tried to continue with his regular day, nearing the shooting range they'd set up so the Marines could get some practice without fear of damaging anything important. He had no idea how bad his aim would be considering that all he could think of was…

"You hair gel abusing son of _Kirk! "_ Despite expecting some form of ambush, John was still surprised by the ferocity of Rodney's tone as he jumped out from a transporter on his way to the gym. "Aren't you and her against like a million and a half regulations?!"

John ignored the obvious hostility, and cocked his head to him. He had to be _very _calm if he was going to talk his way out of this one without explaining anything. "Why yes, Rodney. It is."

Rodney only got more furious. "How could you!? You know I've had a thing for her since I first laid eyes on her, which I'll just clarify, was _years_ before you knew her!"

John nodded, keeping his face stony. Rodney knew nothing of the Ancient Machine thankfully, but with any luck, when he found it on his next trip there, he wouldn't be suspicious… at least that's if Sam's deleting of the logs worked the way she said it would. "Of course, but aren't you dating Katie?"

Rodney ignored the obvious roadblock, and continued his rant. "What is it with you and trying to get into the pants of every woman in this galaxy!? Don't you already have enough of a harem to not include… _her__?"_

John again nodded, now finding Rodney's rant unbelievably funny despite being reminded of the fact that in a way, he _did_ get into Sam's pants. His _harem_ that Rodney mentioned though included a feisty woman who beat him senseless, a young slightly insane woman who forced herself on him, and two women who ended up being comprised entirely of energy. He never got tired of Rodney's constant belief that he was Casanova reincarnated. "Sometimes I prefer quality to quantity." It was difficult to not snap and simply admit what had happened. The role had to be played, he had to _keep calm._

Rodney shook his fist in ire, and completely ignored the now two or three people who had heard his screaming and turned to pay attention. "You're _damn right_ she's quality! And if I _ever_ see you doing anything to hurt her in _anyway_ I'm… I'll… I'd…!_"_

John finally had enough, a crowd was gathering and he didn't want the rumors to spread even faster, _especially_ if someone found out about the machine. "Rodney, what's this?" He held up his hand, and showed the now perfectly exposed tattoo that his wristband had obscured.

Rodney, still fuming, leaned in and suddenly did a double take. "What the…? Why do you have a Bessel Function tattooed on your wrist!?"

John didn't answer, and instead motioned for Rodney to come closer. Maths and Technology always distracted Rodney, and he needed every advantage possible to keep this quiet.

Rodney moved closer, suddenly much more confused than angry. "Rodney, you're making a fool out of yourself. There's a perfectly logical explanation for why Sam did what she did and I'll tell you _if you just shut up and listen!"_

John shook his head as he kept moving. He head on met the gaze of anyone looking at him, thoroughly intimidating any rumors that might surface into submission. Rodney followed, but still with an air of anger.

* * *

John found Sam at her desk, hard at work on the details of the science team and mining survey team they were going to set up. When she saw him standing at the edge of her office, she turned beet red. _"Oh God…"_ She clenched her fists, now furiously trying to forget what had happened. "_Please_ give me good news." John hesitated, and then Sam pointed at the chair almost furiously. _"_Just_… sit!"_

John shrugged awkwardly and plopped down on the chair opposite her, all he could think about was… Well, it was expected wasn't it? "Just the fake marriage. No one knows about…" He self-consciously wrang his hands together, keeping far enough away from Sam that maybe he couldn't sense her beyond vision and hearing, it was futile though, she'd been in this office so long he'd recognize it easily now from his other senses. "…Rodney already attacked me."

Sam raised her eyebrows and then winced in embarrassment. "We knew that was coming… so he doesn't know about…?" She couldn't say it. It had always been a slight fear in her mind, but to have it actually happen was a complete shock to her system. 12 years and nothing had happened and finally… Well technically nothing _had_ actually happened, just a shared memory created by a computer.

John shook his head and sighed as he palmed his brow. "No… no one except the Chief… I-I don't think he understood what happened either."

Sam groaned, she'd had to carry a lot of secrets before, but this was _beyond_ mortifying. "That's good… Maybe…" she couldn't finish that sentence either. So instead she pressed on. "What umm… what did Rodney do?"

John grinned nervously, struggling to focus on something else beyond Sam. "Jealous act. no biggie. Once I explained the whole marriage thing he uhh… seemed pretty pissed off you didn't choose him. The sleeping in the same tent really got him though."

Sam snorted with a hint of hesitation and wondered what Rodney would think if he knew that she and John had unwittingly hooked themselves into an ancient machine that simulated a night of the most passionate and satisfying sex she could have imagined. That thought made her blush even more and she sealed it into the vault in her memories. "Look John… I…" She looked up at John and saw the same face look back. "It happened. We need to move on. Neither of us can leave and…" She gulped, it would be hell for a while, but maybe they could get over it. "Say something. _Anything_."

John grunted. "I uhh…" Gritting his teeth, John bowed his head and nodded. "I saw Keller, she says my scans came back normal… guess they came back normal for you too huh?"

Sam nodded, still mortified. "Yeah, I uhh… I saw her too. Nothing." Sam couldn't look at him, she just stared down at her desk. "Uhmm… just to be sure… top level tower…?"

"…Two moons…"

"…Silk…"

"…all night…" Now their eyes met, and it was proven beyond a doubt, the memory was exactly the same. John sighed and continued. "I guess we can't forget… but… _maybe_ we can ignore it." He didn't want to think about it, John wanted to just ignore it long enough that he'd be able to look at Sam and not remember.

Sam closed her eyes and sighed. "I guess that's the best we _can_ do." She had no intention of telling John what her body was saying. She'd had a fantasy every now and again like any other human being, but this wasn't _at all_ what her childish daydreams were like. "So we're… _fine_?"

John contemplated for a moment to add what he was feeling to his reply, but decided he'd be safer just agreeing. "Yeah… just uhh…"

Sam worried for a second, what could John _possibly_ say now? "What?"

John wanted to ask if the tattoo he'd remembered of E=MC2 was really there or not, but decided he liked his spine inside his body rather than where Sam would put it. "…Nothing."

Sam for that matter was glad he'd shut up, obviously he was about to ask something personal. She for one was curious if the ancient program modified any… _parameters_ or personality traits as it hadn't been at all what she'd expected, not that her body had complained. But that was _so_ outside of regulations that she felt like beating herself with a Banto Rod just for thinking it as some kind of purifying ritual. "So… briefing tomorrow?"

John caught the hint instantly, and got up quickly. "Tomorrow."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

John hesitated for a second, this felt like he was just running away from a one night stand. "I'll uhh… I'll see you later… Colonel Carter."

Smiling nervously back at him, showing her embarrassment through her face, Sam nodded. "Later… Colonel Sheppard."

Sam didn't watch as John moved away, this was going to be hell to try and explain should it come out, or even worse, when people noticed how awkward her and her very friendly second in command were. They'd get the right idea, but under the wrong circumstances. She could only breath a sigh of relief that the IOA wasn't scheduled for another visit in a few months.

Yet something bugged her. Had they _really_ just managed to salvage their friendship? Did this mean that life could go on for the two of them and the battle against the Wraith? What did that say about _them?_ Sam didn't want to think about it, and instead filed it away in her list of things to eventually get to…

Learn the Cello…

Write her autobiography for when the SGC was made public…

Give Cassie away at her wedding…

Decide whether she was really okay with having had the best sex of her life even if it was virtual with her second in command…

Nothing was simple anymore, and unknown to Sam, John was asking himself the same questions.


	4. Jinxed!

"So from what I can tell, the facility was used as a sort of sanctuary for people from the Wraith."

John paid careful attention to Rodney as he briefed them on his findings inside the conference room. Sam sat on the other end of the table with Teyla, Ronon and Jennifer in between. He avoided eye contact, and in fact was being quite successful with completely ignoring her.

Sam did the same, and she found that having a distraction that needed to be ignored actually increased her concentration, and had the added benefit of understanding Rodney to a much higher degree than usual given his dialect. "Did you find anything regarding power sources or anything else critically beneficial?"

Rodney turned to Sam, and still a little miffed over the events of the visit to the Binthu planet, replied quickly. "Beneficial? As in data? Weapons? Things that go _boom-boom?"_

Ronon snorted and stretched his shoulders. "Gimme."

Teyla and John both laughed slightly, but the joke was less well received than usual. Teyla decided to mediate and spoke eloquently. "In other words Rodney, is there anything that demands your attention? Teyla looked over to Sam who gave a gentle nod. Teyla didn't exactly think as much of Sam as she did Weir, but slowly they were building to a degree of trust.

Rodney stammered for a moment, and then replied dejectedly. "Well… yes and no. There's nothing that would definitively help us against the Wraith, but there's a treasure trove of high end Lantean technologies there. I even found a room that had _two_ control chairs!

Both Sam and John became very quiet, and simply watched Rodney. Rodney for that matter noticed the sudden height of attention and misconstrued to both commanding officer's relief. "Oh, _now_ you're interested? Well I did some checking and as far as I can tell, that might actually have been a kind of 'education' room where older Lanteans passed down their knowledge to younger ones. That'd be _especially_ useful to people like me so I don't have to explain myself a dozen times!"

Jennifer smiled pedantically at Rodney. "I hope you'll make sure to forward any data to me _before_ you decide to sit in that thing. There's no telling what it might do to you or anyone else who uses it."

Rodney gave her back the same sarcastic smile. "_Yes._ We _all_ know how _evil_ ancient control chairs are. With a dozen people with mine or even Sam's intellect…" Sam gave him a hard stare, causing Rodney to quickly fumble. "Uhh well what I mean is. Either mine _or_ Sam's intellect, not that one is better than the other except for specific things I may know that she doesn't… or things she knows I don't…"

John felt like snarking at Rodney, but it was just hitting too close to home. He promised Sam he'd ignore what'd happened though so he grit his teeth and said. "Look, just don't go using it yet. _One_ of you is already more than I can bear."

Ronon chuckled and snarked as well. "More than one McKay? Who needs the Wraith with _them_ around?"

Rodney gave Ronon and John a sarcastic _'ha-ha_ face, and Teyla yet again did the mother look. "Now now, I'm sure there is a fully beneficial aspect of this technology… right Colonel Carter?"

Sam was caught off guard by the question, but managed to regain her mental faculties. "Uhh yes! Yes, I'm sure that that kind of technology is.. _very_ useful." Needing to press forward, Sam rubbed her face a little and then stood. "I have no problems with you going back to double check, but don't activate anything until you've done a complete check of all those systems. We wouldn't want anyone doing something they'd… _regret."_

John gulped, and knew that even though they'd agreed, that elephant was going to be in the room _everytime_ from now on. He pushed it aside and spoke. "Agreed, no one sits on those things until we can figure out exactly what it's supposed to do and can control it."

Irritated, Rodney added. "Well how can we do that if no one will sit on it? It might take two people to run it and both me and Sheppard have the gene so…"

"_NO!"_

_"NO!"_

Jumping up from their seats, both Sam and John looked at each other after the jinxed moment. Sam struggled not to laugh, John struggled not to scream, and both just felt incredibly stupid for potentially giving up their secret. In accordance, both turned to Rodney.

"Rodney…"

"Rodney…"

Now with a double jinxed moment, both tried to let the other go first. It quickly became a rather awkward moment of both trying to be polite and in the end, John won by saying. "No no! Go ahead, Sam, you're the boss."

Annoyed that he'd dumped it on her, Sam turned to Rodney who had a stupendously befuddled face. "Rodney. Just don't. At least not until you can prove what the chairs actually do." Feeling a great need for privacy, Sam looked to the rest of the team who also looked confused. "You can go back tomorrow. It's late and we should get some rest."

Teyla and Ronon took the hint and got up quickly. There was little need for them to stay and John moved out with them. To Sam's surprise, Rodney stayed and cocked his head to her. Sam smiled nervously at Rodney and motioned with her hand towards the door. "After you."

Rodney furrowed his brow and spoke softly so no one else could hear. "Are you alright Sam? What's going on? You and Sheppard have been acting funny."

Sam sighed and palmed her forehead. She just wanted it all to end. "I'm just tired of talking about that planet. The less I hear about it, the better."

Rodney raised a single eyebrow in reply. "This has to do with the whole fake marriage thing right? That's why you and Sheppard are acting so weird." Rodney shrugged and rubbed his chin. "I don't blame you,"

Sam scoffed and laughed slightly. Rodney was trying to be her _friend_ and… and she actually appreciated it. It was even funnier that while Rodney had to figure it out, everyone else naturally knew. "It was… _awkward_, and yes. This has to do with that." Sighing, Sam decided she needed a break. "I'm gonna get a bite before I go to bed. Wanna come with?"

Rodney smiled and smoothly said. "Sure, I'd love to go with you." He then tried to correct himself. "_Uhhh I mean…!_ What I _meant_ to say was… not _with_ with you… just uhh… as friends you know?"

Sam laughed at Rodney's befuddledness. He was so insistent on being a gentleman to her that he didn't even realize there was nothing wrong with what he'd said in the first place. "Rodney." She stared at him and smiled.

Rodney got the hint and visibly deflated. "Right… uhh… after you?"

* * *

Sam took a sip of her ice tea, glad to have someone to eat and chat with while the mess hall staff cleaned up after the dinner rush. She'd had the SGC forward cases of diet blue jello since she just wasn't burning as many calories as before and didn't want to spoil her diet. She hadn't told Rodney it was diet though and watched him eat an apple instead trying to stay 'healthy'. She amusingly thought about carbs before bed as she looked around.

The room was mostly empty, and the two moons shone in through the open windows. They'd already talked about performance reviews, the state of which Rodney's staff were at, and even a chance for her to jump in and get her hands dirty with the science so to speak. "So Rodney, what do you really think you'll find in that lab?"

Taking a bite out of his randomly assorted sandwich which he'd carefully checked to make sure had no citrus, Rodney mumbled while chewing. "Probably nothing… but two chairs means something."

Sam winced and pretended she hadn't understood. "Excuse me?"

Rodney repeated himself, but then realized she was teasing him. "Probably… oh… fine…" He finished chewing and swallowed before continuing. "Two chairs means something. We haven't seen that anywhere else, so it must mean something."

Sam yawned and stretched her shoulders out and to the side. "Whatever it is, just be careful. I can't risk you getting hurt, you're important to this expedition and even if it means we can't figure out everything there, it might be best to leave it alone."

Rodney smiled. "Oh so I'm _important_ huh?"

Sam gave him a sarcastic smile. "I could always step down, take over your position."

Rodney knew it was a serious threat, Sam _loved_ science and technology and had been dying to do more around the city. He quickly changed the subject. "Oh well… I'm not _that_ important… not like you or Sheppard…

Again Rodney became curious when Sam remained unnaturally quiet. "What is it, Sam? Why are you so worried about that place? You can't even _use_ the chair since you don't have the gene and…" Rodney stopped himself, realizing how rude he was being.

Sam sighed and nodded. "Yeah I know… can't take the therapy. But even so, if you all go back, the chief might ask you where I am and…" she groaned irritably. "I'm not exactly in the mood to keep pretending to be married to my second in command."

Rodney stifled a snort, and then held his hands up in surrender. "Sorry sorry! Just… well, I guess I always expected that to happen to him and _Teyla_." He sighed softly and chuckled. "I still think you could have avoided the whole thing."

Sam raised an eyebrow in surprise. "You mean have sex with the chief?" It was a tease, but she knew he'd take it seriously.

Shirking at the suggestion, Rodney waved his hands emphasizing his point. "No no no! No I'd _never_ suggest that! No no… what I meant was… well you didn't _have_ to choose your second in command…" He gave a slight shaking of his head trying to draw attention to himself subtly, it didn't work out well.

Sam decided to tease him some more. "Oh you mean Ronon? Yeah I thought about it but I don't think I have the right chemistry with him." She smiled deviously, enjoying Rodney's look of horror. "Well I couldn't pick _Teyla!_ She's _pregnant!_

Stammering now, Rodney couldn't figure out what to say, a word or two would slip by but Sam's smile just eroded his will to speak. Sam chuckled a bit and then shook her head. "Oh, cheer up Rodney. You were actually the _first_ one I thought of."

"Oh." Rodney silenced, and then muttered. "Then why'd you…?"

Sam sighed again. "Because I don't think I could fake a relationship with you. We've got too much history as you put it. They'd think we were on the verge of divorce as much as we bicker." She snickered and palmed her face again. "Now I've got too much history with _John_ and I don't know if I'll _ever_ be able to get over that."

Rodney gasped, and Sam realized she'd let something slip. "Wait! So you _did_ do something! He said you just…" to Sam's relief, Rodney lowered his voice and looked around to make sure no one was eavesdropping. "He said you two just slept in the same bed! That's not that bad. He probably snores but that's nothing to be too awkward about."

"I never said we did anything!"

"Yes you did!"

"Did not!"

"Just now you said you've got 'too much history with John'. What history!?"

Sam clenched her jaw, and decided a half truth was better than a lie. "Well… Fine, okay. You've got to promise you won't tell anyone… _especially_ John." Sighing, Sam gave her half confession. "When we were trying to get to sleep… I noticed someone peeking on us from the window. So in case it was the chief checking up on us we…" grimacing, Sam tried not to think about the memory that _this_ memory alluded to so inconveniently. "We_ faked _it."

Rodney's jaw dropped. If he'd put his hands to his cheek's he look like _The Scream._ He said nothing for a few moments as his brain wrapped around the concept. "You _faked_ it?" Sam quickly shushed him as he'd said it much louder than needed. Blinking a few times, Rodney finally shook off the fugue, too shocked to be any emotion. "That explains _everything_. No wonder you can't even look at each other."

Sam internally sighed in relief. If Rodney only knew… "Exactly. So I'm not that pleased with the idea that I might have to go back. And no, it wouldn't have been any better if I'd chosen you or Ronon." Sam rubbed her face and groaned. "Just don't spread it around. Seriously. You may be the 'smartest man in two galaxies', but I've been to four so do it and I have any number of hiding places for your body."

Rodney got a serious and gentlemanly aspect about his posture. "I'd _never!_ If it were just Sheppard, sure, but this is _you_ we're talking about! You'd _never_ do something like that!"

Sam smiled, Rodney could be a pain at times, but he was also a sweetheart. "Thank you. And it _is_ nice to get that off my chest. You're one of the only people I can actually _talk_ to around here." Sam brushed her side of the table clear, and picked up her tray to put away. "Thanks for listening, and I hope you heard me about the chair as well."

Rodney nodded and sipped his coffee, it was only more proof that he'd become immune to caffeine. "Yeah yeah… I still don't see why you're so worried about this chair thing." Rodney yawned, and then got up as well. "I'm gonna hit the hay. God knows Sheppard's gonna wake me up to go."

Sam nodded and walked away towards her quarters, she muttered under her breath just casually to herself. _"Don't bet on it…"_

_

* * *

_

John shot up from his bed wheezing and feeling his body tight and coiled as if ready to fight. It was bad enough that the stupid memory wouldn't go away like most others he didn't care to remember, but to invade his dreams? In a way it was better than the nightmares he'd been known to have, but in other ways, the resurfacing memory was just as disconcerting. Catching his breath inside his dark quarters, John rubbed his face desperately trying to get the image of a naked Samantha Carter underneath him writhing and screaming and…

_Gah! Stop it! Stop it stop it stop it!_

It was no use. It was as clear in his head as if he'd actually done it. The memory of making passionate love to Samantha Carter was burned in so deeply that John didn't think he'd be able to _ever_ forget. Especially since it was a person whom he'd come to respect for a _hell_ of a lot more than just her body. How the _hell_ was he supposed to follow orders from a woman whom he'd had the clearest recollection of… _ARGH! Stop that!_

Getting up angrily and stomping around his room, John stormed out after splashing some cold water onto his face. He considered taking _another_ cold shower but agony once a day was enough. John began to walk around the city, desperately trying to burn off enough energy to forgo dreaming the rest of the night.

It just had to be such a clear dream too, not one of those foggy nightmares. He could even swear the smells and tastes were real. Thinking about it made him unbelievably frustrated, as he both wanted to know if they were real, and at the same time, wanted to punish himself for thinking such _insane_ thoughts. Even now, he could swear her scent was on the air. Suddenly John felt exactly like Ronon or a Bloodhound.

Wandering the moonlit and empty streets, John eventually found what he didn't know he was looking for. "Teyla?"

She was standing at a small balcony near the mess hall. She looked tired as well but smiled upon seeing John. "John, come join me."

Without a word, John walked over and sidled up as he looked out into the moonlit sky. "Can't sleep?"

Teyla shook her head, and then rubbed her stomach. "I had a fight with a Burrito. I lost."

John chuckled, Teyla could always clear his mind with a single sentence, sometimes even just a word. "Sounds like it was a hell of a fight."

Teyla chuckled and sighed. "I struggled vainly, but even with reinforcements I couldn't hold my ground." She patted her stomach. "So, I came here to be close to the crime scene and try and work it off." She then turned to John. "I get the feeling you're trying to digest something as well…"

John sighed, and nodded, he kept little from Teyla if she asked. "I'm not looking forward to going back. I already told you what happened, but it's just…"

"Awkward?" Teyla smiled, she obviously didn't believe John that faking the most intimate act was the only thing that happened.

John smiled sarcastically. "To put it _mildly."_ He sighed and shook his head. "You know, no offense to her, she _is_ attractive. I'm not stupid enough to try and say otherwise. But pretending to be her husband ain't something I signed up for. Least of all if it means I gotta play the part."

Teyla put an arm around John and rubbed his opposite shoulder. "I'm sure she understands. Although admittedly, I can see why you two haven't been as friendly since." She snickered a little and yawned. "I'd be quite uncomfortable as well if I had to _fake_ a relationship as intimate as that. Especially with someone whom I'm attracted to and respect."

Feeling the low blow, John cleared his throat and tried to think about something else Focusing on Teyla, John could tell now that the burrito wasn't the only thing keeping Teyla up. He reciprocated the one armed hug and squeezed softly. He didn't need to say anything, Teyla knew John cared and definitely wanted to help her.

They chatted a little more, both avoiding their elephants in the room, and eventually John felt tired enough to try and sleep again. He could only pray that his dreams didn't lead him back to that bed atop a spire of a Lantean city, two full moon in the sky, a smell of flowers in the air, and his commanding officer's screams of passion in his ears.

Murphy sure had a way of giving John the nut shots.


	5. Left Field

Not having gotten much sleep due to what she called "Intense Subconscious Recollection of Vivid Non-Events", Sam rubbed her eyes at her desk. It'd been hours since AR-1 left for the Binthu village, and for some reason she was feeling anxious, even jittery. Maybe she was just worried, but she'd never actually gotten a physical reaction to a team going somewhere.

Her office was lightly decorated so there was little distraction, and there was plenty of work to be done. There were still science logs to sign off on, staff requests for vacation or even shore leave to a friendly planet. The Genii had contacted them wanting something or other regardin deuterium and how to handle it, the Travelers were shockingly silent despite their recent alliance and the IOA wanted to know why. There just was no end to it. But that was okay, she liked the way it kept her busy, too busy to think about the still fresh memory of unreal passion with John. She remembered everything so clearly... it was slightly disturbing to know how John _tasted _and vice versa without ever actually...

Sam shuddered slightly as the memory surfaced again. It was like a slap in the face each time.

Hearing the gate in the the room beyond her begin to activate though, she was already halfway out the door to her office when Chuck began. "Colonel Carter to the control room, that's Colonel Carter to the…"

Having crossed the bridge to the control room in record time, Sam sidled up next to Chuck and spoke quickly. "What is it, Chuck?"

Nearly jumping out of his skin, Chuck shook off the shock and turned to Sam. "Uhh yeah, Sheppard's team is back. A little early actually."

Sam gulped, and watched as the shield went down, and Sheppard's team came back through the gate… without John They didn't look too happy. Sam took in a deep breath, and walked down to meet them in the gate room. Rodney led the team and quickly launched into a diatribe. "You wouldn't _believe _those people! They wouldn't let me inside the outpost, and then they started saying they wanted you and Sheppard to go in instead! _Apparently…_"

Already seeing this was going to end badly, Sam yelped. "_Rodney!"_

Realizing he'd almost given up his sworn secret, Rodney winced and smacked his forehead. "Right, Sorry. Long story short, you need to go and pick up Sheppard." He turned to Ronon and motioned with his head. "Lunch?"

Ronon grunted once and looked to Sam. "Have fun."

If Sam didn't know better, Ronon had _teased _ her! She knew he was perceptive but that was ridiculous. Teyla sighed and shrugged. "Unfortunately, the Binthu are adamant that they wish you to be a part of the talks. They requested that Colonel Sheppard stay for the moment, and for you to come along as soon as possible to… _negotiate_ alongside him." Teyla's suggestive facial moves told Sam exactly what she needed to to.

She needed to suit up, and go prove to those villagers again that John was her husband. Sam regretted for the millionth time ever having agreed to go to this planet. But she wasn't going to go alone, _oh no. _Even if she had to drag him kicking and screaming from the mess hall, Rodney was going to _pay_ for this non-transgression.

* * *

Sam was a little surprised by the lack of people around the tent village. She knew there were at least two hundred Binthu, she couldn't see more than twenty now. Her two Marine guards eyed it suspiciously as well, so she asserted her authority. "Let's find the chief, and then we'll get the hell outta here."

Two nods and grunts of agreement, and Sam moved ahead. Rodney wasn't enjoying coming back as well and made it clear. "Why'd you have to bring me into this? I'm sure you could do all the checks you needed to do in the outpost yourself."

Sam sighed and replied. "The only reason I'm here is because of what we… _discussed."_

Rodney looked around and pouted. "What does _that_ have to do with me?"

Turning to Rodney, Sam gave a pleading look. She motioned to two marines to step away, and quietly reminded Rodney. "Because I'd rather not be alone in something like this Rodney. I trust you to watch my back and yeah, I could use your help with the outpost." Sam didn't want to say that she wanted someone around to keep her mind _off_ John. Rodney was a _huge_ distraction and it would help wonders.

Rodney grumbled softly. Sam had attacked a weak point and it wasn't like there was any way out of it now anyway. "Oh alright… if you put it _that _way."

The Chief was waiting by the fire and quickly pointed Sam to the same tent she and John had shared before. Unwilling to let the Marines or Rodney know more than they had to. Sam told them both to wait by the chief and the fire while she went to find John.

As soon as Sam opened the flap, she was attacked by John's voice. "Not my idea! Before you start throwing…!"

John had his hands up in surrender as he sat inside the tent the Binthu had provided him. With the Marine Escort outside, Sam groaned softly and looked around to make sure they were alone as she interrupted. "Blame, yeah I know. I was afraid of this. They only want to deal with _us._ He's giving us a little …_"_

"…Private time." John finished without even thinking, they both looked at each other for a moment and John muttered as she rubbed his mouth. "_Aw crap… _guess it did more than just…"

Sam sighed and sat down rubbing her face and oddly annoyed with her tacvest. She nodded and said. "It probably gave us a link of some kind, we've seen the technology before." She gulped once and then asked. "What do they want?"

John tried to remain tactful; this wasn't going as planned _at all_. "Won't say. I think they just want to torture us." His attempt at humor was a complete miss, and he bowed his head in frustration at Sam's annoyed glare. "Seriously? I don't know. They mentioned something about the outpost and how we're the only one's _'worthy'_ or something. My professional opinion? Let's get the hell outta here, we can find another outpost. Hopefully one that doesn't…" John winced, realizing he'd referenced what they'd promised not to talk about.

Sam for one was tired of it, so after a moment to buck up her courage, she just spat it out. "Ancient technology or not, real or not, whether we want to _admit_ it or not, it happened." She could feel her cheeks blushing horribly, she'd never been so embarrassed. Clenching her jaw, she continued. "We need to move past that, and I think that means we need to talk about what happened. Ignoring it _isn't _working."

Silence, John couldn't think of a damn thing to say, and neither could Sam. They looked at each other and didn't turn away awkwardly. They _needed_ to talk about it, otherwise there were going to be problems.

John smacked his lips, and then sighed. "Okay… what do you wanna say?"

Sam rubbed her forehead, and realized they didn't have much time before the Binthu would come and get them. "…I'm okay with it, John. Really. I…" she snickered once, astonished that she'd actually said it. "No… no, I'm not okay with this. I'm very careful about the people I have a relationship with and I just don't know you well enough. But you know what? I can live with it. I'm actually kinda glad it was you. I'd probably resign and go join a nunnery if it were Rodney."

John stifled a snort, but then seeing Sam laughing quietly to herself chuckled aloud. "Yeah… I can see why." He sighed, and then rubbed his neck. "I guess I'm glad it was you too. Who knows what would have happened if it'd been Teyla or godforbid, _Rodney."_

Sam cracked, and giggled madly to herself. Rodney was by far not her best friend, but she knew John and he were close… just not _that_ close. "I think we're _all_ glad _that_ didn't happen." Getting a little more relaxed now that it was in the open, Sam bit her lips before saying. "Listen, John. I'm not exactly thrilled about this. But… I guess apart from maybe my old team…" she looked up at John. "I can't really think of anyone else I could trust with something like this." She cracked a smile. "Just don't get any ideas."

John snorted and chuckled. "Hey, listen. Don't get me wrong because I really do think you're attractive and all, but I don't fish off the company pier, hell I don't fish _period_ anymore."

Sam smiled softly at the compliment, it'd been awhile since getting complimented so smoothly and she liked it. "Me too…" She realized that it had double and even triple meaning so she elaborated. "All of it… I mean… I think you're pretty handsome yourself, just… I don't fish anymore either.

Neither said anything after that. It was a very private discussion and both felt embarrassed. Sam finally broke the silence again by saying. "I'm… I don't want to be ashamed because of this, John. If we're going to work together then we're going to have to accept it and make it a part of our lives." Realising what she'd just said, she stammered. "Uhhh! Not part of our lives like we _continue!_ I mean, we…"

John snickered and shook his head in reply. "I got it. And… well I'm not saying I'd be opposed cuz…" He gave Sam a gentle smile, but quickly shut it down. "Well, apart from the obvious problems, there's still the regs."

Sam stifled a gasp with a cough. Did John really say that? "Uhhh… yeah." Suddenly awash with memory, Sam suddenly found herself on the other side of the fence. "Wait… so you mean…?" She looked up at John. "You really mean that?"

John shrugged uncomfortably and used his toe to dig into the ground. "Look, I'm not saying it because I _want_ to… I'm just saying I…" He sighed, and rubbed his neck again. "I wouldn't be that opposed."

Sam was speechless, she'd never expected John to admit something like that. She stammered. "I-I-I… really?"

Sighing, John nodded. "You said we needed to talk so… Aw screw it, I think you're beautiful, intelligent, kind and… and I…" John scoffed and laughed to himself. "And I thought that even _before_ this. You say you didn't know me that well… well I don't know _you_ that well either… but I'm not opposed to rectifying that."

Silent for almost a full minute, Sam finally was able to word what she wanted to say. "…That's… _very_ inappropriate, John." She winced and bowed her head. "But I'm guilty too. I think you're handsome, loyal, and… and I love it when you crack a joke. And… from what I've seen I wouldn't mind getting to know you a little better either." She snickered, thinking about how odd it was for him to have invited her for a beer after Ronon's issue with his old squad. Many people would have done the same, but John had done it with a nonchalance that made her feel welcome.

John nodded softly, something which surprised Sam. "I know… I…" he scoffed again, this was ridiculous. "So… what the hell are we gonna do about this?" Before Sam could reply, a commotion was heard outside, it sounded like a scuffle. "The hell?"

John got up and moved towards the flap doors, and stealthily peeked out. He tensed up instantly and turned to Sam who had gotten up and peeked over his shoulder. "Where's your escort?"

Sam looked around as well, the entire village seemed much calmer than even when she'd entered, typically they'd see people milling about, maybe a few cows and bulls being led here and there. Instead, now there was silence and stillness. "They should have been around the main square, Rodney was here too, something's wrong.

John grit his teeth, and cursed softly under his breath. He then turned to Sam and looked her up and down. Her TacVest was open at the top, with her combat black BDU's underneath, He pushed past the thought, and saw that she was unarmed except for a combat knife and a Sig Sauer P229. "Just the handgun?"

Sam gave John back a pedantic stare. "Sorry, P90 didn't go well with my outfit. I wasn't expecting _combat_." She pulled at her radio but then stopped. "They would have said something if they had to move. Something's wrong."

"Agreed, let's get you outta here. Gate's not too far, we can run it if we have to." John grit his teeth and sighed. "Have to bring back reinforcements."

Sam thought about it for a few moments, but then decided that they'd be better off trying a more stealthy approach. "What about Rodney? Don't try and protect me, John. We'll find the Rodney and the marines and get outta here." After a moment's thought, Sam winced and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Sorry… I…"

"No, no you're right." John sighed, and reaching down towards his leg, pulled out his own handgun. "Whatever the hell this thing is between us is distracting me… _dammit_ you brought _Rodney?" _Rubbing his forehead now, John winced at the sudden headache. "Split up? Coded radio?"

The simple plan was exactly what Sam had in mind, a system of taps on the radio would signal different things. Sam moved back over to the other side of the tent and pulled out her knife to cut it open. "Good idea, we'll circle the village and find Rodney and the Marines, if we can't find them by the time we meet up on the other side, we'll come back with reinforcements."

John nodded, and cocked his handgun. He resisted the sudden temptation to get closer to Sam, especially since he could almost taste her as close as she was already. "Agreed, so, left or right?"

Sam rolled her eyes, but motioned her head to the right. "Just don't be late. This is _not_ the time to go on a side trip." Fighting the thoughts in her head, Sam popped out of the tent and kept low. John followed soon after and moved in the other direction keeping stealthy as well.

Keeping her mind clear with the potential for enemy action, Sam clicked her radio once, calling John for a check. He replied with a single click back, and she began to move.

The village had somehow emptied out quickly, or at least no one was outside of their tents. Sam was very creeped out as she skirted the edges of the village, trying to pick up some kind of trail of where Rodney and the Marines had gone. She thought she could make out hushed voices, but little else.

She was actually approaching the outpost, her side of the village taking her near. Sam pulled back a little more, now using the trees as cover. She moved from one tree to another, keeping low in a crouched run, the tension in the air was unbelievable, and she strained to listen and see any evidence of what had happened.

A twig nearby broke, and Sam turned her head sharply. Instantly her adrenaline fired on all cylinders. A Wraith was charging right at her along a beaten path.

She aimed carefully and squeezed the trigger as fast as she could, bullet after bullet drove through the Wraith commander's body, the shiny leather clothing doing little to protect it. The bangs resonated across the woods drawing anything and anyone near. But the Wraith just ignored it and continued his silent charge.

Sam emptied the whole thirteen bullet clip into the Wraith's chest, enough to seriously wound it, but it still staggered forward. Sam was trapped with a tree behind her, so she did the only thing left at this range ,she jumped forward with her knife drawn.

In her heightened adrenaline fueled state, she managed to get in a pair of slices that cut deeply into the Wraith's arms before it closed in on her. It swatted away both her knife and gun before grabbing her by the throat and pinning her to the tree. It was badly wounded from the attack, and Sam lashed out with her fists and feet as hard as she could.

But it was futile, and moments later the Wraith used its other hand to tear apart her tacvest and shirt, and then slammed it into her chest to start the feeding process.


	6. Inconvenient Passion

John had heard the shots, and threw away any thoughts of stealth; Sam obviously had. The fact that she hadn't used her radio was bad so he bolted through the village without a care of what might be in the way.

The shots had caused a sudden riot. people who had seemingly disappeared now reappeared from inside their tents, they were screaming, they were armed, and John was _not_ in the mood for a Cowboys vs Indians chase.

He'd just about made it to the other side of the village where Sam likely was when he felt a sudden rush of pain and adrenaline in his veins. somehow, he knew Sam was hurt and lost all sense of propriety and civilization. Time seemed to slow down, and he could feel his arms pumping up, his grip on his pistol tightening enough to crack his knuckles, and his neck pulsating with his now rapidly firing heart.

As he neared the edge, he saw a Wraith jump out from one of the tents with a stunner. John instantly went into a dive, dodging the stunner bolt which flew above and past him. With the same momentum, John rolled up to his feet and lashed out with his combat knife in a single move. How he'd even gotten it out of its clasp was a mystery, but he didn't have time to wonder.

He drove it into the Wraith's neck and didn't even slow down as he barreled through. John had experienced time dilation before, but this was different. it was as if he could feel his entire chest on fire as his heart pounded oxygenated blood into his muscles spurring them into action.

The Wraith he'd killed hadn't even hit the ground before John was out of range. somehow he knew exactly where to find Sam. He wasn't surprised that a Wraith had found her, or even had her pinned against a tree feeding on her. The only thing that surprised him was just how clearly he was seeing everything.

John knew he had to have been scratched and bruised, a dozen broken branches had been left in his wake, but it didn't matter. John could only see the Wraith that was convulsing strangely as it fed on Sam.

He drove his shoulder into the side of the Wraith smacking him off Sam. With no loss in momentum, John tackled the Wraith brutally into a fallen log audibly breaking some of its bones. Without remorse or hesitation, John began to slam his fists down onto the wounded monster while screaming in rage.

It must have only taken seconds, but John could have sworn he'd spent hours beating the creature. With no sense of time or even self-awareness, John drove one final kick into the Wraith's face ending whatever existence it had.

Just as smoothly, John turned back with his gun out and ready to fire. He spotted a pair of Wraith drones heading from the village, and realized that the outpost was his only possible fallback position. He wasn't leaving without Sam though and through the strange adrenaline rush, popped off two headshots from a greater distance than he ever had before. Both Wraith fell to the ground grasping at their now non-existent faces.

Stun shots began to fly past him. they didn't seem to be aimed, more about suppressing possible return fire, so John ignored it, and rushed down to Sam who'd slumped down the tree and lay shaking. Without bothering to check if she was even alive, he scooped her up and slung her over his shoulder.

More shots came in, but it didn't matter. John was too far ahead and in the utter confusion, had managed to evade the Wraith who'd occupied the village. Where Rodney was was unknown, and John could feel the battle in his mind. His logic told him to run, but his emotions were torn between saving Sam and trying to find Rodney.

In the end, the emotion favoring Sam and logic had John turning around and heading to the outpost in a flat run, his leg muscles tense and sore from the sudden use. He ran as hard as he could, stun bolts burning through the foliage he was using as cover.

Before he knew it, he'd reached the outpost and John quickly entered the cave-like structure. He passed through the rock face outside and quickly spun around as he passed the bulkhead entrance. With his free hand, he waved the door control shut. Just as the large doors built into the rock began to move, stun shots flowed in still trying to chase him down.

It didn't matter, the doors slammed shut, and John and Sam were now safe, but trapped. John quickly turned deeper into the outpost and found a softer spot with some plants to set Sam down. She was still shaking, but she didn't look like a typical Wraith feeding victim. Her hair was a mess, but she didn't look aged. Instead of feeling weak, John could feel her strength returning as she fought to push him away, but then contrasted it by pulling him closer.

She was coughing violently, struggling to breathe. John found that he could barely make sense of what was going on around him, even the room felt like a vague and distant dream. He crouched down and picked up Sam's body to bring her close.

She reacted instinctively, wrapping her arms around John's chest and hacking out coughs. John wrapped his arms around her and used one hand to hold her head, and the other to rub her back soothingly.

Neither said anything for almost a minute, but Sam finally hoarsely whispered. "_John?"_

"Yeah?"

Sam coughed again, it was obvious each one hurt her tremendously and John could empathically sense it. It was clear the mental link between them was just getting stronger. Sam quietly asked._"How bad is it?"_

Ever the realist, John continued hugging her. "You're okay…you're okay Sam, I don't know how but he didn't take anything from you, not as far as I can tell." He was breathing hard, the stale air inside the outpost made each breath difficult, his mouth drying even as his lungs begged for more oxygen.

Sam shook her head and coughed again, John propped her up against him and pulled her even closer. With the same hoarse voice, Sam said. "_Don't lie…don't lie to me, please. Please don't lie."_

"I'm not lying…you're okay, Sam." Pulling her face up, John could see the anguish in Sam's eyes. She was still in tremendous pain, so John stared back and spoke plainly to reassure her. "You're okay, Sam. I know it hurts but I don't think he took anything from you." Involuntarily, John's hand came up and stroked Sam's face with the back of his fingers. Sam seemed to react to it and nuzzled against it.

It was wrong, John knew he shouldn't care about Sam like this, and she shouldn't be responding like this either, but it was happening nonetheless and he was powerless to fight it.

Sam's recovery was shocking. she leaned forward and nuzzled her cheek against John's, both gasping at the sudden sensations. She knew it was ridiculous, but it felt so comforting she couldn't help it.

Before either one knew it, they were kissing again. It quickly devolved as their tongues met, and John shifted around so that Sam could sit in his lap. He let his mouth slide off hers, now kissing down her jaw to her exposed neck. Sam desperately clawed at John's back and wrapping her legs around him.

When John's hands slipped under her shirt from behind, the cold knocked some sense of reality back into Sam. She gasped and cried out."John!

John stopped, but kept her pressed up against him. Sam whispered softly, and apprehensively. "_We…we..can't…god no we can't…please…"_

Gulping hard, John continued to nuzzle his face against Sam's neck, but it was nervously now with no small sense of hesitation. "I…I know…I dunno if I can stop…_god… _I…I'm just so glad you're alive." John closed his eyes and forced himself to forget that he had Sam's incredibly warm and comfortable body next to his. It wasn't working.

Sam winced hard, she didn't _want_ to stop him, but she understood now. she could feel just how hard John was fighting and it wasn't enough. A part of her felt a bit flattered that she was apparently irresistible, but the part of her that screamed that there were more important things than their suddenly inflamed libidos. "_Please, John. Don't make me do this. Not now…not…" _groaning softly as John's tongue danced on her neck, Sam realized that she needed to reassert some control any which way she could. _"John…we can do this later. Look I swear. I want this too but not now. Please…"_

John's muscles tensed, his mind was fighting his body and it was proving to be an epic battle of galactic proportions. "I… I…_I can't!_ _Help me… help me!"_

Sam dug her fingers into John's shoulders. This had gone far enough and if John's tongue lingered any more south, she wouldn't have the resolve to do this. "_I'm sorry John."_

*CRUNCH*

John groaned loudly as he doubled over, the veins on his neck pulsated with pain, and his eyes bulged from the rather unfair strike.

Sam withdrew her knee from John's groin and let herself fall back to the ground. John fell forward, taking ragged breaths. They were lying on the ground now and Sam could _finally _think and see straight. Her chest still burned like it was on fire, but at the very least, she knew where she was.

The outpost's walls were lined with plant vines that almost looked like veins. the rusty red of the Ancient alloy made Sam think she might literally be inside a heart. Obviously this mental link was making her crazy and the sooner they got back and admitted _everything_ to Keller and _begged_ for some kind of relief, the better. The nearest console was activated, something that surprised Sam.

_"Oh god_... I never thought I'd _appreciate_ a nut shot." John's hoarse voice told Sam that maybe she'd struck a little _too_ hard, but John didn't care. He started chuckling and pulled Sam into a more friendly, less intimate hug. "Can you believe I'm _still_ glad you're okay?"

Sam had to laugh as well. it broke the tension, and let her reorient her senses. She hugged him back and they were able to pull apart at the end. It seemed pain allowed them to break the link. "We need to find a way out of here and get Rodney and the Marines back." She motioned to the console nearby. "Help me up, maybe the outpost has something we can use."

John nodded and shifted to a seated position. "Yeah…yeah." He then reached down and pulled Sam up along with him. She kept an arm around his shoulders for support as he legs still hadn't gotten their full feeling back.

Feeling the need to rectify things, Sam quickly explained herself. "You know… I was only kidding about what I said… I would have said anything…"

John furrowed his brow, but then caught Sam's meaning as he limped her over to the console. "Oh…yeah I getcha." He snorted as they finally reached it a few seconds later. "Hope ya don't mind me saying I'm just a bit disappointed."

Sam stifled her laugh with heavy breathing, and then replied as the made it to the console. "Me too." They gave each other a sidelong look, and realized just how ridiculous the situation was getting. "Alright. Sitrep. I'm hurt, I doubt I can run. There's god knows how many Wraith out there, and all we've got is a pair of handguns and some C4."

John helped balance Sam then kept her upright as she began to work on the console. "We've got whatever this outpost has, but we still need to get Rodney and your escort back.

Before Sam could reply, their radios began to crackle with static. John fumbled around and clicked his own. "This is Sheppard! Who's there? Rodney?"

A few tense moments passed and finally a dangerously smooth voice came through. _"Colonel Sheppard…of the Atlantis Expedition."_

Sam drew in a sharp breath and bowed her head. _"Crap."_

_

* * *

_

_**A/N:** Story is 100% written, just in finalizing process. 2 more chapters.  
_


	7. The Ecstacy of Gold

Sam and John sat on the floor across from each other now. An impossible decision had arisen and Murphy's Law had reared its ugly head. Rodney was alive, as were one of the Marine escorts. John and Sam had been forced to listen as one Marine was fed on as a warning to surrender.

They wanted Sam. The hero of Asuras. They _had_ Rodney, and now they wanted the one who'd ensured the battle was won. The Wraith were in disarray and _this_ hive wanted a technological advantage. So what better than take the two smartest people in the galaxy?

Sam had worked it out now. Activating the outpost had warned the Wraith. The Wraith commander had taunted them mercilessly, and threatened to take as many years from Rodney's life as needed if Sam didn't come out and give herself up soon. Rodney had been gagged though the pair could still hear him grunting and moaning about the situation. Oddly the Marine hadn't been gagged so John assumed the Wraith merely wanted Rodney to shut up. The constant _thump thump _of Wraith weapons against the heavy outpost door only made their thinking all that more ominous

After checking the outpost's computers they'd found a secondary exit. John figured he and Sam could evade the Wraith long enough to get to the gate, and _maybe_ get back to Atlantis for reinforcements. But that would mean abandoning Rodney, and neither was willing to do that.

So that led to this position and now John and Sam struggled to think of a way to do everything they needed to do. Save Rodney, Save the Binthu, Save themselves, and maybe in that mess work out exactly how they were going to even _look_ at each other again. Not to mention check if Sam was indeed alright from her near death experience.

It'd only been five minutes, every second wasted was lowering Rodney's chances. And that's when John got a horrible idea. A truly twisted, out of this world, on the fringe of _lunacy _idea, As he explained it to Sam, she had to admit, Murphy's Law might have cursed them, but maybe _adding_ to the chaos was the most logical way to go.

* * *

"It appears they do not care about you. Perhaps hearing your screams would make them a bit more willing."

Rodney tried to work the leather gag out of his mouth He had no idea where this rag came from, horrible, _horrible_ thoughts including the Wraith gastrointestinal tract came to mind. Did they even _have_ a gastrointestinal tract!

At least 20 Wraith were in the area. the Binthu were all either hiding or under guard. Most of the Wraith were drones, but a trio of commanders remained besides the two who'd been dragged back, one with his throat cut open, and the other with more holes than swiss cheese. The Binthu were nowhere to be seen, whether they'd been culled or simply sequestered was beyond Rodney's knowledge.

The Wraith Commander crouched down to where a pair of Drones held Rodney down on his knees. "Another ten minutes and I shall enjoy taking a taste of you."

Rodney internally screamed. He'd never been fed on and he wasn't keen to appreciate the experience. All he knew was that one Marine was nothing more than a husk and the other had screamed to Sam and Sheppard that they should just leave them behind. No wonder Marines were called Jarheads, he _obviously_ didn't have anything _in_ his head!

Shuddering as the Wraith ran a finger down his face to his neck, Rodney suddenly decided that no, he wasn't ready to experience being fed on. If Sam and Sheppard managed to save him before that happened, he'd get them a great wedding present. _If_ he survived the reprisal from them for highlighting the events that brought them all here, perhaps then he'd calm down.

Just as Rodney swore it, he felt a small shake in the ground as well as hearing a loud rumble from near the outpost. The Wraith heard it too and shot up. He quickly motioned to a quartet of Drones, who after a second grunted and began to run towards it. Rodney had never gotten used to the idea of the Wraith communicating telepathically. Granted yes, sometimes he wished he could just to make Radek work more efficiently, but having his secrets taken out from under him was by _far_ not what he wanted.

Rodney turned towards where the rumble had come from. a thick haze now came from the sparse forest like an enveloping evil. It twisted towards them, slowly as if it oculd consciously choose to terrify.

The ground began to shake again, softly at first, nothing too serious and it could have been Rodney's imagination for all he knew, but it was growing, and in the cup of… _some_ kind of fluid which Rodney didn't want to venture a guess, he could see tiny ripples from the tremors.

It grew into a noticeable effect and Rodney looked at the Marine across from him who began to breathe harder, almost as if expecting something. Rodney mimicked him, having to use his nose which unfortunately got a perfect whiff of the disgusting leather gag.

Looking back to the haze, Rodney realized it wasn't haze at all. It was smoke from fire or an explosive. As Rodney suddenly understood where it had come from, the four Wraith Drones that had gone out into the haze came back running at top speed. A series of pops became audible, sounding distinctly like gunfire. The rumbling ground grew even more, and Rodney would have gasped as he saw what the Wraith were running from if he didn't have a Wraith's potential toilet paper in his mouth.

An entire column of cows and bulls, the ones the Binthu kept for organic ploughs and meat were stampeding. there must have been at least fifty of them, and seated on top of one creature that resembled a horse, John and Sam sat riding the whole chaotic mass into the village.

The Wraith commander instantly began to scream orders, the few drones he had at the ready fired into the crowd of oncoming cattle. It was hopeless though, the stunner pistols and rifles were designed specifically for humans and it'd take four or five shots to take down an enraged, or in this case, terrified bull.

Adding to the chaos, Sam held her handgun with her right hand, firing either down into the ground or up towards the Wraith. John held Sam steady as he barely managed to ride the horse-like creature bareback. Rodney's dad had come from the Prairies and had once said that riding a horse like that was tremendously difficult and even at this distance Rodney could see John hugging Sam _and_ the horse's neck to keep from falling off.

The Binthu had taken the chance and they quickly began to riot and cause general pandemonium throwing the Wraith into disarray. The ones who'd been hiding inside their tents swarmed the Wraith guarding Rodney and the Marine, and finally Rodney was able to pull the disgusting gag out of his mouth. Just in time too, as the bulls had almost reached them.

The Marine leapt up and used his combat boot to drive the Wraith above him's chin up and back in a roundhouse kick Chuck Norris would have been proud of. He then spun around and yelled at Rodney. _"RUN!"_

Rodney took one look at the stampede heading his way and didn't think twice. the enraged roars of the creatures as they drove horns first into the line of Wraith drones, cleanly pounding them into the ground and running them over was _more_ than enough incentive.

* * *

Chuck hummed softly to himself and enjoyed the rather fine art of the "Birds of Prey" comic that Sheppard had lent him. Granted, Amelia's harrumph over the rather scantily clad women on the cover had been expected, but _dammit, _the writing was good!

He'd just turned the page to a nice battle scene involving jumping through the air when the alarms began to ring and an incoming wormhole signal activated. He instantly got to attention and tapped his radio. "Unscheduled off-world activation! Major Lorne to the…"

"I'm here."

Shirking at the sudden arrival of his superior officer, Chuck realized that Lorne had likely seen him goofing off. Amelia over at the other console looked equally amused, though frosty with the tense situation. "Incoming wormhole. it's from the Binthu's planet."

Lorne sighed. "You ever get that feeling nothing good's gonna come through there?"

Relieved that Lorne wasn't going to reprimand him even though both Sheppard and Carter had said it was okay for him to read something during the slow hours, although technically Carter had assumed he'd be reading tech manuals or… It didn't matter. "Every time the IOA calls, sir."

Lorne chuckled, and clicked his radio. "This is Lorne, anyone…."

_"This is McKay! Drop-the-Shield-Drop-the-Shield-Drop-the-Shield!"_

Getting an authentic IDC signal, Chuck didn't need to be ordered.

The shield in the Gate Room below opened, and the few guards who were on duty took aim. Standard operating procedure for any signal like that. A moment passed, and one of Sam's Marine escorts came barreling through with Rodney in tow.

Lorne was about halfway down the stairs to greet them when he stopped suddenly at the shock of what came through next. "What in the name of…!"

The dark brown colored creature came through at a full gallop, and John and Sam barely hung on as it skidded to a halt and began to run circles around the Gate Room. Sam screamed as she was flung around like a ragdoll. "_Close-the-gate-Close-the-gate-Close-the-gate!"_

Lorne was speechless, but thankfully Amelia couldn't see the pandemonium below and was able to shut it off despite everyone else's catatonia. Chuck couldn't help it and burst out laughing as John and Sam struggled to get the creature beneath them under control.

Rodney fell back, now hiding behind the line of very confused Marines on 'gate duty who didn't know whether to shoot or try and assist. Lorne finally snapped out of his stupor and tried to calm the beast down with his hands out stretched.

Surrounded, the creature only panicked even more. It had never been through a Stargate and was obviously _very_ confused. John had finally had enough of the nausea-inducing rollercoaster ride and screamed. "_Stun-it-Stun-it-Stun-it!"_

The pair of Marines with Wraith stunners gave each other a look, and then shrugged. Both aimed low and drove shot after shot into the horse's abdomen. On the first hit, it bucked back cleanly throwing John and Sam off and down to the floor.

Since she was holding onto him for support, Sam found herself flying through the air with John as a cushion. Before she even hit the ground she screamed. _"Sorry!"_

John slammed into the ground, and a nanosecond later Sam landed on top of him in heap of bruised muscles and tangled limbs. John hacked out a cough as the strike winded him and Sam quickly rolled off of him.

Lorne rushed over and tried to help them up, but quickly realized that they were severely injured. Unwilling to exacerbate the situation, he keyed his radio. "Medical team to the Gate Room! I repeat, Medical team to the Gate Room on the double!"

John coughed. He'd broken some ribs for sure and that was _nothing_ compared to how crappy Sam must have been feeling. If Keller didn't spring for the good stuff to deal with this pain, she truly was a coldhearted and sadistic monster.

Lorne just looked down at John and muttered. "The _hell_ happened, sir?"

Looking at each other as they lay on the floor in pain, both writhing and struggling to breathe, it was a fight not to start laughing or weeping. John just muttered back. "Murphy's a bitch."

* * *

Now resting comfortably in the semi-privacy of the infirmary, John eagerly awaited some news from either the Binthu, Sam's condition, or just about anything that would distract him from the pain of his two broken ribs. The worst part was that he could still swear he felt that mental link. Something told him that relief was coming soon, but not the way he was expecting.

Sam was going to be alright, Keller had explained that through some sheer and utter dumb luck of the universe, the naquadah in Sam's bloodstream had acted as a sort of poison to the Wraith. When she'd exposed cultures of Wraith DNA to a sample of Sam's blood, the result was what could only be described as allergic. John had struggled not to laugh out loud at the idea that the Wraith were literally allergic to Sam. Jennifer had also explained that it was a very unique occurrence, and that given a little time to adapt, and no injuries from multiple gunshot wounds, the Wraith would have eventually succeeded in feeding on her. John's quick reaction had kept Sam alive and despite the humor, it was a sobering thought for both Colonels.

Lo and behold, a few moments after the feeling had arisen, Marie came along pushing Sam in a wheelchair, and Keller came up to him with a tablet nestled in the crook of her arm. _Uh oh._

Jennifer nodded slightly to Marie, dismissing her with a silent gesture. John looked to Sam and had his fear confirmed. Keller knew.

Marie nodded to both Sam and John, and then backed off, closing the curtain around the three.

Keller faced John as soon as they had privacy, and quietly said. "I'm very disappointed in you both for not telling me about the outpost sooner, but I _do_ understand why you want to keep it private." John instantly felt his cheeks turn red… or were those Sam's? "I've already talked it over with Colonel Carter. I'm willing to keep this quiet as long as it doesn't affect your command abilities. this means I'm going to have to run some tests, and I need both of your _full_ co-operation."

John gulped audibly. Obviously Sam had spilled it all and now all that was left was dealing with it. He sighed resignedly. "What do you need?"

* * *

**A/N: **The chapter title is an inside joke. A million and a half points if you figure it out :P


	8. Tranquil Admission

**A/N:** Alright, Thanks to my betas who are evil and utterly merciless to my raw and bloodied fingers, i've added an extra chapter. This is the penultimate chapter of Murphy's Law of Snap Decisions

* * *

Pheromones.

Keller had just explained it all very technically, and while Sam obviously understood, John had to ask. "Uhh… say again?"

Keller sighed and bowed her head. Thankfully this office was soundproofed and only John and Sam could hear. Rodney was outside complaining of some kind of foot injury from outrunning a pack of wild bulls, but this was more important. "To summarize, you've each become addicted to each other's pheromones. There's likely some mental aspect I haven't been able to ascertain, but the only treatment I can think of right now is for you two to spend time in each other's presence. At least a few hours a day, preferably in the morning so the concentration is lower."

Sam winced and sighed. "It's the problem Avroditus mentioned in her logs, it _has_ to be. The people who'd use the machine would…" She bit her tongue, realizing just how close they'd actually come to falling victim to the machine. Granted she _knew_ she would have enjoyed it, but still, it would have been a truly career breaking move. "…kinda defeats the purpose."

Keller simply remained as detached as possible..She'd buried her face in a pillow earlier when they weren't looking and laughed her ass off, but a Doctor was supposed to have poise and respect dammit! "Yes, well…we're trying to avoid that. It's a two sided problem really. One, you're dependant on each other right now. If you don't get your 'fix', then it'll feel like a drug withdrawal within a day and I'm not comfortable leaving either of you in that condition. But at the same time, you're also building a tolerance to each other. So the longer you spend together, the less you have to, but the urge becomes stronger. It's a very strange process as far as I can tell from your samples.

Jennifer sighed again and rubbed her face. How a problem as strange as trying to keep her two commanding officer's from screwing each other's brains out because they couldn't resist each other came across her desk was a mystery, but the SGC doctors had told her to expect the unexpected. "The only treatment at the moment I can think of is for you two to just…hang out." A small snort left her mouth, and she shook her hands at both of their glares. "Sorry, sorry! It's just…"

Sam sighed, and then looked over at John. "This just won't end will it?"

John just remained quiet. Something told him this was either going to be very fun, or very, very, _very_ awkward. Keller finished with a final recommendation. "The safest way…" Keller again hid her smirk. She felt like a chaperone all of a sudden. "…is for you two to avoid skin to skin physical contact, stay in groups, as well as making sure that any private conversations you two will need to have regarding the base take place in Sam's office with the blinds up."

Sam gave Keller a disapproving look. "It's not like we're going to go at it like hormone riddled teenagers…" She winced and turned slightly to John. "_Sorry."_

John groaned as well and added. "She's right, Yeah this might be a weirdass situation, but we've still got self-control."

Keller smiled, at least they were being open about it… somewhat. "Well that's good! Give me some time to try and figure out a treatment. The only advice I might have is to try and make the best of the situation."

Sam raised her eyebrows in apparent horror. "And exactly _how_ are we supposed to do that?"

With a shrug, Keller suggested. "Have fun?"

Both John and Sam wished their eyes could emit lasers at that point.

* * *

Golfing, sparring, weight training, even running.

Lab tests, scientific tests, even just sitting back and watching a movie.

Watching teams go out, going to the mainland, at one point even holding an impromptu football game with the Marines.

Not dates, but not exactly platonic either. John was sure people had noticed, but there was little he could do. Four weeks of this constant hanging out with Sam and careful monitoring by Keller. It felt like he was being chaperoned and all the best parts of dating were off limits. Granted, he and Sam had said nothing about their heart to heart back in the recently relocated Binthu village, but still. It was their little elephant, or in their specific case, bull in the room. They'd still had fun and tried to keep the mood light, though Teyla and Ronon obviously noticed there was something off about the whole situation.

And now, Keller had come up with a treatment that might give them more than a day off each other at a time. This was by _far_ even more embarrassing than anything else that had happened so far. At least until this point, they'd kept all their clothes on and the one little thing they had in the outpost was more out of… well… sheer happiness that they were alive than anything else.

Both Colonels were feeling on the edge; Keller had done some testing and came up with a treatment that might act like a controlled overdose in order to increase their tolerance levels without increasing their dependence.

The only strange part was that it had to be in a jacuzzi Keller had ordered in for "stress management." In an isolated room in Atlantis with locks and "broken" cameras, John lowered himself into the warm water wearing only his black trunks. The windows were open giving plenty of ventilation, and moonlight was seeping in. John couldn't help but be reminded of that night he and Sam had spent on the Gateroom balcony watching the twin moons of the planet. It felt like such a long time ago.

He breathed deeply, and heard gentle footsteps coming towards the tub. Admittedly, John had almost expected Sam to be in a bikini rather than the black tank top and shorts she wore. He was _almost_ disappointed. "So I'm guessing you understood Keller better than I did? _No_ _way_ I wanted to ask her for clarificationon _this…"_

Sam grimaced and let herself down into the large tub of warm water after taking her flip flops off. This was by far the most unconventional treatment she'd _ever_ endured. "She's hoping that the water will hold our pheromones and build our tolerance to each other. Hopefully, this'll mean we won't have to spend most of the day together." Sam hid her grimace at the fac that with both of their bodies in hot and flowing water, it'd soon become apparent that they were two attractive people in a Jacuzzi. For a moment she thanked God she wasn't a man as she spied John's shoulders flexing as he shifted to face her better.

John snorted softly as Sam tried to get comfortable even though she was blushing. Granted he'd dreamed of something like this with a beautiful woman here on Atlantis, but _dammit, _not like _this! _ He wasn't looking forward to getting out of the tub and confirming what he knew she must be thinking. "Tired of me already?"

Sam gave John a harsh glance, but after spending the last two weeks just trying to keep the mood light and ignoring the obvious bull in the room, it was more out of amusement. "Well, you know better than I do, you _don't _have more than two dates in a week." She hoped the humor allayed this thing between them.

They both laughed, but now came the _worst_ part; Making conversation while swimming in the other's pheromones, and at this point, likely hormones as well. John didn't know if he had it in him to keep this platonic. "Well, let's look at the bright side. We've got a Jacuzzi on base now."

Sam couldn't help it and snorted. She was so embarrassed to be in this position, but at least John was making it tolerable by being such a lighthearted comedian. "There is that…But I don't think bikini's were standard issue for the base." She smiled at John's blushing cheeks and knew she'd struck a weak spot. "I can't imagine what the IOA would think if I requisitioned 'appropriate' swim wear."

John smiled and resisted laughing. _If this were a porno I'd be making some glib remark about the exorbitant prices of Bikini's. _"You'd think they'd at least _think_ about it seeing as we're a city _floating_ on water."

Sam didn't resist her laugh, as tense as this felt given their virtual history together, she didn't feel threatened by John's joking. He was _just_ flirting playfully to lower the tension of their situation. "Feel free to put in a request, I'll be glad to forward it to the SGC."

Seeing Sam's sly smile, John realized that he'd have to step up his game. He liked this, being Sam's friend was a challenge at times, but it was worth it for the entertainment and camaraderie.

* * *

Nine weeks total now, neither John nor Sam felt a strong urge to pin each other to a wall, table, bed, or any other fixture that would provide support for repetitive movements. The weekly treatment seemed to be working, neither felt any different than they had before…except that they were spending an hour in a Jacuzzi with little clothing and tons of light hearted humor once or twice every week besides their regular activities. Sam couldn't help but notice how it seemed like escalation.

Now if only Sam hadn't broken her leg in the Genii mining facility…

"Hey boss."

Sam winced as she sat up in her Infirmary bed. Everyone had come by, offering support and reassurance. Even the SGC had sent a care package through courtesy of her old team. In fact, Sam had oddly noted that John was the only one _not_ to show up. At least until now. "Hey, wondered when you'd show up."

John smiled, it'd been months now since the Binthu and he was glad that his friendship had been saved even if they'd always have that night in Lantean dreams. "Had to get some stuff ready. Figured you'd be moping so I got you a present."

As John held a finger up and moved to get his present, Sam quipped. "_Moping?_ Well forget you! At least Rodney snuck me some chocolate!"

"Yeah, cuz chocolate is _so _original." They both chuckled, as odd as it sounded, their fast friendship, virtual shagging, and then mutual awkward recuperation had developed into something akin to a close friendship, but with an edge to it. Sam knew it wasn't exactly the same thing she'd had with him before, but this wasn't that bad either.

So when John showed up with a pair of crutches, Sam didn't know whether to beat him with them, or give him a big hug.

* * *

The garden on the west pier was a calm and tranquil place. Sam loved to spend time here. Every once in awhile John would come here, too, just to drive some golf balls into the ocean. It was an odd pastime, but Sam had grown to appreciate the finesse it took to actually _hit_ the ball, let alone get a good shot.

They weren't golfing now though, and Sam had the distinct feeling that enough time had passed to finally address their issues. There were two massive hints that told her this. One, John had brought a chess board which they only ever played when he needed to talk. And two, he _wasn't_ talking.

Sam decided to see exactly where they were at. She _was_ the one with the broken leg. She wouldn't be able to make a quick getaway. "So…something on your mind?"

John nodded softly, and picked up his bishop. He carefully examined the pieces until he realized the gambit Sam was using, and put it down. "You could say that."

Watching as John instead moved his knight, and blocked her checkmate in four moves, Sam silently cursed and reorganized her plans. "Oh? Anything I should know?"

John shrugged around indecisively. "Maybe. Depends on what you think."

Sam knew that John danced around the hot issues. She knew this had to do with their relationship. "What I think about what?"

John watched as Sam quickly moved a pawn opening up the range for her rook. He thought about how he could counter it then realized it was a feint for her own knight to get in position. "Us."

Sam was surprised. John had uncharacteristically gotten right to the issue. Sam decided to try and buy herself some time. "You trying to distract me?"

"Maybe."

Sam laughed. John _always_ tried to win no matter what. "It's working." Sam sighed and shook her head. John moved one of his pawns oddly opening up his queen to attack. It was a bold move, if a bit risky. "What _about_ us?"

John was silent for a bit. he said nothing but watched as Sam took almost a minute before deciding to match his same move. "What we talked about… about _us_."

This was serious Sam realized. John was asking something very dangerous and she was suddenly feeling a little tense. "…I thought we were over that."

"Are we?" John stared Sam straight in the face. He silently broke down the walls that she'd erected around the feeling and left her defenseless.

Realizing that she wasn't going to squirm out of this one, Sam bowed her head and watched John make another bold move on the chess board. "There's nothing to talk about, John. We can't; It's as simple as that." This was bringing up painful memories and Sam _really_ wanted to end this game, even if it meant defeat. "You know that the only way is if we're not in the same chain of command. This isn't like back home in the regulars John, the SGC is very tight knit as far as the C.O.C and… and as far as I know, I'm in Atlantis for the foreseeable future."

John scoffed softly. "I'm not talking about that, Sam." He bent his neck down to look at her again. "Even if it never happens, I don't want to wonder about it. I just wanna know for a fact."

Sam gulped. John was basically asking her how she felt. It was a _very_ personal question and she didn't like that she _did_ have an answer. So she stalled, and made a more defensive move on the chess board. "Does it matter in the end?"

"To me it does. And if I'm right, it matters to you, too."

Exasperated, Sam hissed as she watched John look at the chess board. "What do you want, John? Do you want me to say that I want it? Do you want me to say that even without the effects of the chair I _still_ want…?"" Sam bit her lips and rubbed her mouth, now very ashamed and embarrassed. "Is that what you want?"

John looked up at her, and giving her time to acclimate, he replied softly. "I just want us to _know_ for a fact. I'm not _asking_ you to do anything."

Sam took deep breaths. How John was able to remain logical about all this was beyond her. That is until she realized the biggest difference between today and yesterday. "John…is this because I got hurt?" John remained silent, confirming her fear. _"… you love me don't you?"_

Silence, John closed his eyes, took several deep breaths before whispering. _"…Maybe a little."_

Sam pursed her lips and realized just how deeply they'd stepped in it. All that time spent together fighting their dependence on each other had confused things. "A _little_? John, either you love me or you _don't_. There's no… _little."_

John scoffed softly and shook his head. "Alright… no. I don't love you." He looked up at Sam who stared back, the chess game now forgotten. "But I care about you. I care a hell of a lot more than I'm supposed to and… and I don't know what to do anymore. I _don't_ want this, Sam. I don't want to feel this and… and not know what it means." He turned away, obviously feeling very exposed.

Sam remained silent, biting her lip. This was how it felt on the other side, having to deal with something so awkward and unneeded. She could see that John had let it all out, so she had to do the same if she truly did respect him. "…I.. I don't know John… I don't want to feel like this either." She sighed and rubbed her head. "Yeah. Yeah I guess I love you a little, too."

Looking at each other across a chess board, John realized that they'd just gotten rid of the elephant, or rather bull in their room. Now they just had to deal with it.


	9. Emotional Fringe

**Epilogue **

**One day after Superhive's destruction**

* * *

Sam had forgotten about it until John told them his plan. A standard John Sheppard plan. Fly a fighter with a nuke attached into the belly of the Wraith Hive threatening all of Earth and blow himself and it to kingdom come.

She checked herself, she hadn't _forgotten_ about it. She'd _pushed_ it out of her mind… The bull in the room was there, it was acknowledged, it just wasn't given any attention. They'd been able to work together, even save Teyla from Michael together. When Sam left Atlantis, John didn't feel any need to follow her and Sam wasn't feeling any dire need to return.

They'd forgotten about it and let it sit… until John had decided that he'd rather die a hero than watch his world be culled. Sam had always known that John was a step above the rest, his mission to Asuras, the way he united Wraith, Traveler and Earth for the battle of Asuras, even his stamina and determination to save Teyla after having a building land on him. He was one of a kind… and he'd come to grips with his own mortality.

She'd missed him, and Sam knew he missed her. But it wasn't something they couldn't deal with. They'd passed a few emails, a few reports. John always popped his head into her lab when he swung by Earth… which was infrequent as a blue moon.

The Binthu were a long lost memory, even their virtual night of passion was just a vague wisp. But _something_ remained. Not a mental link, not a dependence on each other's pheromones, but rather a respect, an admiration… and Sam hated to admit it, a sort of love.

She'd forced her emotions down when John had said to tell Atlantis goodbye for him. Her fists had curled so tightly that her nails had cut into her palms. Only years of military training had kept her from letting the emotion slip. When Rodney's voice came through, she was elated, only to suddenly become the triggerman, being forced to order John to detonate the nuke that would kill him and save the planet.

John's suicidal tendencies worked, but only as far as the mission. He just didn't seem to be able to die as Atlantis had shown up out of nowhere to buy them the time they needed.

That was yesterday and now Atlantis was in San Francisco bay, floating and slowly being repaired from the battle. Sam had flown over in a Jumper, piloted by newly promoted Lieutenant Stackhouse on the pretense of checking the city for damage both physical and crew wise.

It had been simple and quick. Rodney had assessed everything quickly and with Jennifer helping him, the new couple quickly took charge of the aftermath.

That left her with time, which was exactly what she wanted.

Sam found John on the balcony, the same one they'd found themselves on two years ago. There was only one moon in the skies now, but it was no less beautiful. She silently sidled up, already knowing that he could tell it was her.

"Everything okay at the SGC?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah, lost a lot of good pilots, but we saved the planet. That makes a dozen or so by my books." She hoped the humor would help, just avoid the fact that she'd nearly killed him.

John chuckled thankfully. "Do I get a medal or something?"

Sam laughed in reply. "I'll talk to General O'Neill about it." She sighed deeply, now sure about what she wanted. "I've got something else in mind actually."

"Oh?" John turned to Sam, curious as to what she meant.

"Yeah… I've been given command of the _General Hammond_."

John raised his eyebrows. he'd known that she'd gained command of that craft in an alternate timeline, but for it to happen here as well… "…Congratulations."

Sam nodded then pointed out towards the city beyond where the lights were twinkling. "Thanks… If we hurry, I know this nice little bistro on the waterfront. It's nice, quiet, private… there's even live music and a dance floor."

John was confused now, so he said. "Uhh… okay, celebrating your promotion?"

Sam shrugged and deadpanned. "And the fact that I didn't have to kill you yesterday."

Snorting softly, John shook his head slightly amused. "I'll drink to that."

Sam laughed again. She'd been right so long ago about the lunatic fringe. Shifting closer, Sam lowered her voice as she refused to meet his gaze…if he was even looking at her. "I would have done it you know? I still would."

"I know."

Sam smacked her lips, and then explained. "I'm glad I didn't have to, but there's something you should know."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, the 304 program is completely separate from Atlantis. The 304s are under Homeworld Security, not the IOA."

"Aren't they the same?"

"Not exactly. the IOA is civilian, Homeworld is Military. They've only recently worked that out because they don't want our research colonies to count as military outposts. Bureaucrats."

John had to think about that for a few seconds before he understood the implications. "Uhh… so you mean… you and I are…"

"…no longer in the same chain of command…"

"…so…"

Sam smiled and finally turned to him. "So… I think you're going to want to get changed. I'll be waiting in the Jumper Bay in an hour once I clear a few things up with Rodney and Woolsey. We can pull a Star Trek and park a cloaked Jumper in the park." A furtive glance as she began to move away. "Dress up, I will."

John turned his head and watched as Sam strolled away. he could tell right away that it was nowhere near as simple as just that. The battle and near catastrophe yesterday had stirred things up. He realized that nearly ordering his death had finally broken the last of Sam's barriers, and she was ready. They both were.

It made perfect sense too considering all he knew about Sam now. John chuckled softly to himself as he anticipated how the night would go, and idly appreciated the perks that saving the world came with.

* * *

The Bistro had gone perfectly, both quickly falling back into old habits and laughing and joking around about everything. Sam had told John about her new ideas with the Asgard Core, John had mentioned the moaning and general headache the entity he called "McKeller" had caused. They'd eaten, they'd danced, they'd had a glass of wine… all very date like things. Now they were heading back to the park where they'd left the Jumper. John was wearing a leather aviator jacket with a simple yet elegant black dress shirt underneath. His worn dark denim pants made him look almost like a regular townie, if it weren't for the airforce patch on the side of the jacket. He'd quickly realized the 'Atlantis' patch would have caused more questions than he'd like, so he'd ripped it off and replaced it with an older one from his days in Antarctica.

Sam on the other hand was dressed stylishly. Her hair was tied back with a barrette and small strands popped out giving her face a sort of statuesque look. She wore a simple black evening dress that while form fitting, wasn't tight enough to cause a stir. She'd gone easy on the makeup and looked again, completely unassuming.

John had once told Sam that he had two left feet, but he was quickly proven a liar as they both showed their upbringing by dancing excellently to a ballad by an indie music group. Sam had enjoyed it all, mindless fun with no sense of awkwardness anymore. In a way, they were just celebrating the fact that they were still alive.

Neither made mention of their actual jobs. The SGC, Atlantis, the General Hammond were separate. Sam's talk of research was her own personal love, not the job. John understood that and didn't feel nervous because of it. Tonight it was just John and Sam, not Colonel Sheppard and Carter.

John flicked the remote to the Jumper, and the door plopped open. He gestured to Sam in a very gentlemanly pose. "After you?"

Sam just snorted. Obviously he was teasing her, but she was okay with that. They sat down quickly and the Jumper took off into the night.

Once they were airborne, John turned to her. "So where am I dropping you off?"

"How long would it take to get to Colorado?" Sam smiled, loving how John's reaction was to go quiet and stare at her. "Can't get too far from the SGC you know?"

"Got it. Take maybe half an hour." Given Sam's smirk, John wasn't too sure exactly what Sam had in mind. Not that he was intimidated by strong women. Nancy had met him match for match on several occasions. That was one of the reasons he'd married her. Now though, this was Samantha Carter. He _needed_ to lighten the mood. "Makes you wish this thing had a radio, huh?"

Immediately leaning forward and beginning to work on the panel, Sam quipped. "What do you like? Rock I'm guessing. Take me a few minutes to calibrate for FM or even Satellite Radio."

John laughed. Sam's instinct to just solve things was a happy change from the typical women he'd dated. It was women like that he enjoyed spending time with. "Anything as long as it's Cash, Johnny at that." Seeing Sam quirk up a side of her mouth, he knew things were only getting better.

* * *

Walking Sam right up to her door, with the Jumper in the backyard of the typically unused house and his arm around her with his hand on the small of her back, John now contemplated what was going to happen. What did he want from Sam? Could this really be construed as a date? They'd had fun, but they hadn't even kissed. Usually when he went out on a bonafide date, he didn't mince words and feelings, it was A leads to B leads to C. _Asking_ a woman out led to _Being_ together someplace long enough to find out if _Copulation_ was worth the headache.

Sam's house was unassuming, on one of the many typical suburban streets in Colorado. John felt quaint here; he'd never lived like this having always spent time in penthouses and mansions as a kid. When he'd left home, he'd lived on his own in an apartment near Stanford, close to his alma mater. Upon graduation, he'd spent awhile just drifting on his bike before finally enrolling in the Air Force. It was always barracks after that.

He wasn't feeling what he typically felt after a date and escorting her home… Well he was, or at least a part of him anyway. But having spent so much time with Sam on Atlantis, working together so closely that they'd even spent free time together, free time that wasn't an obligation of the ten thousand year old mistake of a sex crazed Lantean. What did that mean for them now?

"I had a great time tonight, John." Sam turned to John after she'd unlocked the door, her blue eyes reflecting in the moonlight. It was easily two in the morning and they'd been up most of the day. "When are they expecting you back on Atlantis?"

John shrugged. "Didn't say. Just told Woolsey I had to take care of some stuff. I _may_ have implied that being on the verge of committing heroic suicide might have bothered me a little. He said just come back when I'm ready."

Wincing in both mirth and horror, Sam bowed her head and shook it. "You are _incredible_." She let out a sharp breath of air and after a few moments moved forward to hug John. John gladly accepted the hug, and rocked her back and forth slowly.

When she didn't let go, John realized that she was enjoying it a little _too _much. "Sam?"

Feeling him begin to recede, Sam whispered. _"Aren't you gonna come inside?"_

Those were the key words. John suddenly understood that the last two years of his life had been part of an intricate story designed to torment him with romantic comedy. He wasn't laughing. "…"

At his silence, Sam shifted her head a little closer to his, but only so he could hear her clearly. _"Too fast?"_

John sighed softly, and bowed his head as they stood at the edge of her door. He took his time in replying but finally said. "No…I'm just not sure…I'm not sure _what_ I want from you."

Sam laughed softly, and then squeezed John tighter. It wasn't a simple platonic hug, she pressed her whole body against him. "If it helps… I'm not that sure either. But I'm tired of running from this. I'm tired of going to sleep alone. I'm tired of wondering…tired of…. I'm just _tired,_ John."

Feeling her up against him, John realized that he really did think he could trust Sam with this. She was someone whom he could _trust._ That was the critical mass he needed. So instead of pulling away, John tightened his hold on her and nuzzled her cheek, leading to a soft kiss below her ear.

* * *

John shifted around, suddenly feeling a little colder and freer. When he found that Sam had moved to the side of the bed, her naked back presented to him, he groaned softly. "Mm… Sam?"

Feeling his hand slide along her lower back to the side of her hips, Sam bowed her head and got up leaving him alone. "I just need some air…"

John wasn't an idiot. Needing air? They'd just spent the better part of the night rolling around in… well not _just_ in bed, but they'd ended up there. "You wanna talk?"

Sam turned her head and looked to John over her shoulder, she didn't say anything, and instead picked up a bathrobe that was laid down on a nearby cabinet. She then silently left the room, leaving John in the sheets wondering what had happened.

John knew something was wrong, and he wasn't going to find out later. Their clothes were still on the floor, but the washroom door next to her bedroom was open. He was astounded at the lack of gadgetry. He'd always assumed that Sam would have her house in a similar manner to her labs, making it home.

Curious, John stretched his arms and neck. Wondering if maybe he should look for some slippers, he decided not to pry around for something so small and instead just got up and walked to the washroom.

Looking at the clock, it was almost six in the morning. The sun wouldn't be up for a bit, but the beginning of the edges of light across the horizon showed out the window. He grabbed one of the too small bathrobes and draped it around himself. Looking down, he groaned softly at his clown like appearance. Splashing some water on his face and drying his body of the sweat they'd made earlier with a hand towel, John left the washroom and then the bedroom.

Instinctively he kept quiet, sneaking along the hallways of the two story house. It felt so alien to be in this place, but at the same time ,he knew Sam must be around somewhere.

Checking room after room, he found a few random things that every home had. John wondered idly how often Sam got back here. Eventually, John made it to the kitchen and finally spotted Sam's loose blonde hair outside the window. She was sitting on the backyard porch swing, softly moving back and forth in the cool morning air.

John walked over and stepped out, Sam quickly seeing him. He spoke first. "Hey." He could have said more, but he knew that was enough now.

Sam gave him a strange half smile, and nodded. "Hey."

Seeing that neither was really in the mood to speak, John simply moved over and sat beside Sam. She'd curled up, her legs tucked beneath her as if she was cold. John shifted over in his seat and put an arm around her. Sam dropped her head onto his shoulder and sighed.

Neither could really think of anything to say. John could tell Sam was distraught over something, she'd often watched the sun and moon rising and setting while on Atlantis, she said it cleared her mind… John feared that maybe she regretted what they'd become.

The sun finally began to crest the horizon, it was hidden by the trees and houses nearby, but the purple sky had turned orange. Sam finally spoke after several minutes of just cuddling together, the two in bathrobes. "Am I crazy, John?"

"Maybe."

Turning to him, Sam whispered. "How can I let you in my life like this? How can I invite you into my bed when…when I know you're crazy enough to kill yourself?"

Now John understood. Sam was scared. He didn't blame her. "…That was a messed up situation. I'm not suicidal despite what you might hear."

Sam scoffed softly, and pulled John's arms around her tighter. "I don't… I'm worried. Everyone I get close to…" She sighed and nuzzled her face against John's arm. "I shouldn't have let you in. I should have just let you walk away."

John didn't give a damn anymore about appearances and pulled Sam into a tight hug. She clawed at him, obviously wanting him close to her. John whispered softly. "You love me, don't you?"

Sam couldn't help it, even as she felt her eyes tearing up, she laughed out loud. "That was _my_ line goddamnit." She snuggled up, softly wiping her eyes on his bathrobe, which ironically enough, was hers to begin with. "Yeah… yeah I love you… and I know part of it's because… because you're such a complete… _lunatic_."

Rubbing her shoulders, softly consoling the woman in his arms, John kissed Sam softly on her ear. "You have any idea how many times I've punched the reaper in the face and walked away?"

Sam laughed again, this was _serious _dammit and he was joking about it! "What if he ducks one of these days? What then? I love you godammit and I _don't_ want to lose you."

"I can't know that, Sam… I could get fried by one of Rodney's inventions tomorrow. I just want to live for _right now._" He pulled Sam away and looked her in the eyes, and silently finished. "And it's cold out here. We're gonna have to warm up again."

Sam covered her mouth, John was shredding all her fears apart with humor, all those angst ridden neuroses she had was being annihilated by this man who'd decided that yes, he was willing to stick with her because he was here now. "Carry me and _die_..." She smiled as John began to snake his arms around and under her. "… or maybe I'll just kick you all night. Keep you from getting a good night's sleep."

John shifted around and picked Sam up into his arms. Sam covered her mouth in embarrassment, but didn't fight it. "Who said anything about _sleep?"_"

* * *

Fin

**A/N:** Some of you may have noticed that this story begins with an old one shot from the fanfic 100 challenge I never finished. This was by far the most popular of them all, so I've expanded it, given it an ending, yadda yadda :P Just a fun little story :D

Originally it ended at the Balcony scene where they head to the Bistro, but my beta Neela threatened death destruction and possibly flying burritos if i didn't expand it :P

There's not enough John/Sam stories out there! It's growing, and the fans are growing as well, the biggest stories ATM are...

_Neela's **"Some Corner of a Foreign Field"**_ which is an Apoca!Fic focusing on John/Sam as well as Atlantis on its own in Pegasus..

There's also _Ilenaakaraven's **"What if?"**_ Series which is an AU telling of the Atlantis story which features John/Sam heavily as well as lots of twists and turns.

Finally, there's my own major series, **Universal Sin/Dark Frontier** which is more than just a John/Sam fic, it's a major alternate series of Stargate which gives Atlantis an alternate ending which continues in a new galaxy, The new home of the story is the Atlantis Fanfiction Section of SGUsucks' forum. It's the most comprehensive list of SG:DF material including wallpapers and art.

http(colon)//forums(dot)sgusucks(dot)com/showthread(dot)php?t=701

Support Dark Frontier! The Alternative to SGU! Save Atlantis! Save Entertaining Shows!

*gets off soapbox*

Or if that's not your thing, or you like SGU, I just hope you enjoyed this :D


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